Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Adoption of Haitian Orphans

With the impact of the Haitian earthquakes, children are being adopted right, left, and centre all over the world, bringing many new children into a whole new world, a world we are accustomed to. These children are going to be losing so much... yet, at the same time, gaining so much. This can be very scary for these young children coming from very little, most likely with next to nothing, into a place with plenty. It is understandable why people are wanting to get these children into families quickly and why they would want the children of Haiti to be "fast-tracked" into their new families.

However, the children are going to take some time to adjust as this is a whole new experience for them. A world that is surrounded by new sights, new sounds, new languages, cold weather their young bodies are not used to, foods, textures, and scents their little noses have never smelled before. I hope the parents who are bringing these children into their homes realize the severity of this fracture from the world these children knew to the new one now in their horizon. For those who think the transition time will be instant - think again! Imagine yourself losing all you once knew in the blink of an eye and then all of a sudden being flown across the world to a new place where nobody looks like you and you don't know anyone. Remember these are children who have lost everything and it will take some time to adjust - to attach to those who have brought them in and to understand what has happened to their life. Hopefully all parents will see this and will do their best to find support through literature, support groups, other adoptive parents, social workers, friends, and family. Hopefully, parents will not give up on the children brought out of devastation and into this new world and will continue to support and enrich their minds, body and spirit!!

I have had the chance to read some insight from a new adoptive father of a boy from the Philippines and it has shaken me a little to say the least. This father wrote about how his son had been misbehaving and when he acts up, the father thinks to himself "Why is he doing this... doesn't he know he owes us?" Now a statement like that may not hit home to some people but when an adoptee reads something like that, it can be devastating. OWE HIM - really?? When did the little boy ask his parents to come out and adopt him - to take him from his country of origin, with all of the people who look like him, who he can relate to in a distinct way. When was it this young boy asked these people to do that?? A child of adoption should not be considered to owe anyone anything. Adoption is supposed to be about wanting a child, to love and care for unconditionally. Owing should never come into the picture. I feel for the young boy as his father goes through his life with him... I hope the parents will be awesome enough to pick up the literary support tools I am providing so their young son will grow into a strong, confident and resilient man!

Here is a link to what Diana, an adoptive mother of three transracial children, had to say about the adoptions out of Haiti. She also happens to be a wealth of knowledge with regards to the world of adoption as she is the Adoption Support Coordinator in various regions of BC.

1 comment:

  1. THANK YOU! for so eloquently making an excellent point: adoptees are not indebted to their parents and are not "so lucky" that such altruistic people chose to adopt them. I am a white mother of three children, one of whom is a beautiful triracial boy and I am SICK of people telling me how lucky he is that my husband and I adopted him. It is WE who are lucky, WE who are blessed to have him in our family. Your books look wonderful and I can't wait to read them with my son! He just turned 3 and has not yet begin to ask about adoption or why he looks different in our family, but I know that day will come. Thank you again!