Showing posts with label self confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self confidence. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

As time flies... in the eyes of a foster care child.

Another summer, fall, and winter have passed and we are almost at the end of another school year with homework, extra curricular activities and tons of stuff to rush around and do almost completed.  My kids have been enjoying their days and are excited for the summer holiday break to arrive and have some down time again.


Down time?!  I always wonder about those words and how they play out in a child's mind... down time for us adults seems quite obvious -- we need some time to rest, relax, not think about anything and hang out.  What is it that kids are thinking... it seems their down time usually happens every day when school is done -- they are then either off to a fun filled time at a sports practice or game; off to enjoy some type of artistic experience; or even home to watch a bit of tv or play video games, either on the computer or tv.  These all sound like down time items to me -- as a parent, we adults are usually working long days to ensure our kids have the warm home to go relax in; provide them with rides to the variety of activities usually chosen by those same kids and generally have to provide meals for these kids to consume on a daily basis.  Down time -- sheesh!  As a parent of four energetic children, from tweens to teens, I want more of this so called down time and now!!  :oP


Even though I am currently off work, due to this lingering illness, I still am required to ensure I am able to provide my children with the home they need, the food necessary to stay healthy, and be available to drive them to various activities or friends homes so they can enjoy their down time without any glitches.

A big glitch for me -- I am not always on top of my own game, health wise, and tend to want to have some extra down time for me when the kids are home.

Right now, I am learning to focus on one commitment at a time compared to the twenty things I know I need to do, or at least feel I need to do at one time.  Running myself down has been a large contributor to my feeling less than my usual energetic self.


When I focus in on the one area that gives me energy and strength, I always feel pumped!

That area, of course, is writing the stories for the children!!  The next children's book is titled When Is It My Turn, and has actually been in my head for a long time.  The story is about a group of children who are in the foster care system and have not been selected to be a part of anyone's family.  Children who sit every day wondering why they are not in their own forever family as they see other children around them who are chosen to leave and join a family.

How does a child know it is okay to feel what he/she is feeling -- to know the thoughts of getting older is not always a good thing when you are a part of the "system?"  Children need to have some reassurance about who they are and what is inside of them when they are the ones who are still waiting... they need to know it's okay to feel what they feel as they are growing up without a family around them.

This book speaks to them in a way they will understand because some of the emotions they feel, every day while waiting, are brought forth in this book for them to read and figure out.  I am excited for someone to pick up this book and be amazed at the impact it will have on a child who feels alone inside.  These words are powerful words, strong words for the children.

As summer comes, I will await what happens with this story and go from there.  If I am still unable to find a professional publishing company to take this story and run with it, I will take it by the reigns myself and fly!  So many children deserve to not only read the words, hear the words, and believe the words, they need to know these words are for them, for each of them, to start their own healing as they live each new day with themselves!!  I will never stop what I do because there are always more children to come!

 I love what I do and I can't wait for so many others to read this story and love what I do too!!!!

Friday, June 29, 2012

Summer is around the corner...and I won't go down without a fight!!

After a very hard fall into the spring season with illness and pain in my world, I am happy to say things are slowly starting to turn around.

I have had a lot of stress with being ill and trying to ensure my children are still living in a somewhat normal world - whatever normal is!

My life turned upside down over the past twelve weeks with all of the medical changes I have had to endure.  Starting with the numbing down the left side of my body, followed by the headaches and terrible side effects I have been struggling through.

Memory loss and very poor concentration --  going through many moments in a day where I will ask myself, "What am I doing? What was I doing?"  Twitches in my left arm and fingers.  Tingling in my hands and feet.  The taste of soda pop changed completely where the carbonation was awful to taste - it was like drinking a horrible tasting sugar water.  I have been struggling everyday with a symptom called Aphasia (I can think certain words but I can't speak them very well, stuttering and slurring what I am trying to say) Choosing an alternative word can be so helpful at times however makes things a little more difficult for me as I go through the day.  Sometimes I have these odd moments where it appears I am having some sort of staring spell -- I could not move nor speak yet I was conscious of what was happening around me -- very freaky...

I am glad to see things changing for me in a positive way -- finally have started speech therapy to re-work how I speak and focus on the annunciation of my vocabulary all over again.  This has been a very humbling time for me as I have struggled through a lot of moments and days feeling at a loss most days with not knowing how long this will last, if not forever.

I am starting to work on the next three books in the series, the fourth book is titled When Is It My Turn, because these are very important to me and for the children.  It has been a hard road to travel with everything I have been going through yet for me, it is still all about the children and I will persevere through all of this to ensure the series of books is brought out for the children and families to enjoy and learn from.


As time goes on, I will face these challenges and be stronger for them, I have to be!  I have faced many a fight in my life and the health issues I am facing right now will not be going down without some big time fight coming from me to overcome it all!!  Love to all who continue to follow what I do for the children and know this...I am in this for the long haul, no matter what!!!


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Happy Spring Ola Zuri!!

Supposedly Spring is around the corner yet winter has not really wanted to let any of us go yet... the snow has been coming sporadically on again, off again for weeks on end.  Every time we think it is over...  surprise, there it is again to put a little twinkle in our eyes!!

So here was the surprise and twinkle in my eye over the past few weeks...

I awoke in the middle of the night and found I was unable to move the left side of my body.  I thought -- weird, what's wrong, did I sleep wrong, tried to shake and realized I really couldn't move.  I was completely numb on the left side of my body.  Well now I was nervous!

Was I sick?  Having a stroke?  Heart attack?  Then for some reason... I could smell toast?  why could I smell toast????  It was two o'clock in the morning and I was alone?!!  what was wrong with me!!!  I had to snap out of it!  I reached over for my laptop with my right arm and googled stroke symptoms and found out what was happening seemed like a stroke, a mini one.  okay -- so two hours later, I relaxed, my left side appeared to wake up a little bit and I finally went to sleep for awhile before having to get ready for work.


So... went in to work for my shift.  I let my bosses know that I was a tad shaky still, weak and that I may have had a slight stroke in the night but I thought I would be okay for the day and of course they freaked and sent me to the doctor straight away.  Good thing too because as it turned out, I was way too weak and numb to be at work.  I spent the rest of the day in the doctor's office and then the hospital having tests and such to find out that the neurologist believes I did not have a full stroke but a migraine that causes stroke like symptoms and if not treated can cause strokes which can then continue on to actually cause strokes for the rest of my life.  Great!   That's what I wanted to hear!

Well, I am now on a medication to prevent the migraines that will supposedly prevent the strokes which will allow me to live longer.  However, the medication is awful and has such horrendous side effects that I am quite sick from having to take them.  There are also some memory issues happening, some speech problems occurring, I can't count or react efficiently or in a timely manner at work the same as I always have before, and my skills had slowed down significantly to what I am used to.  Sheesh!!

After all is said and done, this type of migraine is called a Hemiplegic Migraine and I will paste the definition below for what I found out about them here:


Hemiplegic Migraine Headaches

Headaches are common. But hemiplegic migraine is a rare type of headache. It's also one of the most serious and potentially debilitating migraine headaches.
There are several types of migraine. One major group is called migraine with aura. Hemiplegic migraine is a severe subtype of this group.
Migraine is a complex neurological disorder. It generally includes headaches, but not always. Before the actual headache pain of a migraine, you can have a host of other symptoms that serve as warning signs that a migraine is coming. These early symptoms, called auras, include temporary disturbances in one or more functions:
  • Vision
  • Muscle control and body sensations
  • Speech and language
  • Hearing
For most migraine sufferers who have aura, the visual disturbances are the most common symptom. But for people with hemiplegic migraine, muscle weakness and paralysis can be so pronounced and extreme that it causes a temporary, stroke-like paralysis on one side of the body. This paralysis on one side of the body is called hemiplegia.

What Are the Symptoms of Hemiplegic Migraine Headaches?

Hemiplegic migraine symptoms often start in childhood. Then for some people, they disappear in adulthood. While the stroke-like symptoms can range from worrisome to debilitating, the good news is that no permanent nerve damage occurs from this type of migraine.
Migraines are unpredictable and unique to each person. You may have a hemiplegic migraine headache with extreme pain and minor paralysis one month. Then the next attack might bring extreme paralysis without much headache pain at all.
Symptoms of hemiplegic migraine include:
  • Severe, throbbing pain, often on one side of your head
  • A pins-and-needles feeling, often moving from your hand up your arm
  • Numbness on one side of your body, which can include your arm, leg, and/or one side of your face
  • Weakness or paralysis on one side of your body
  • Loss of balance and coordination
  • Visual aura, such as seeing zigzag lines, double vision, or blind spots
  • Language difficulties, such as mixing words or trouble remembering a word
  • Slurred speech
  • Dizziness or vertigo
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Extreme sensitivity to light, sound, and smell
  • Confusion
  • Decreased consciousness or coma
With hemiplegic migraine, the aura can be more severe and last longer than with other types of migraine with aura. Symptoms usually last from five to 60 minutes. It's rare, but some people gradually develop long-lasting difficulty with movement and coordination.

What Causes Hemiplegic Migraine Headaches?

Researchers have now identified three genes linked with hemiplegic migraine.
Defects, or mutations, in any of these three genes lead to a breakdown in the body's ability to make a certain protein. That protein is needed for clear communication among nerve cells. Without that protein, nerve cells can't release or take up neurotransmitters -- the chemical messengers between nerve cells. The three genes linked with hemiplegic migraine are the CACNA1A, ATP1A2, and SCN1A genes.
Most people with hemiplegic migraine have inherited the gene mutation from one parent who also had the condition.

Something I wish I could have known I may have been prone to get from the family however with a closed adoption, nothing was ever available as far as records for me to find out and I did not know.  Only because I was able to meet my biological mother did I even know that she had suffered many, many strokes in her life did I have that knowledge.  When I was growing up, I suffered from migraines almost on a daily basis, for sure weekly.  It never occurred to me that there was one out there that could strap me down and have me not understanding what was happening.

I will fight this and get better - it will take time and healing and that is all we have!  After all is said and done though, I still have to Believe In Me!!!  Right Kids?!!  Right!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Meet & Greet Local Author - Ola Zuri





UPCOMING EVENT
Book Release - Mosaic Books

"What Is A Part Of Me"
Where: 411 Bernard Avenue
  Downtown Kelowna

When: December 16, 2011


Time:  3:00 - 8:00 



I sit here wondering how each day can continue to pass and I still have heard nothing from the many, many people who were so impressed by what I am continuing to do for the children - the children who are growing up in our communities who do not have the full confidence within themselves that we parents believe they do, the self esteem that is needed to grow into well rounded individuals, the strength to stand on one's own two feet and feel from within that there is nothing one can not conquer by staying strong and believing in oneself.  Each day I wait, I dream, I hope someone, anyone, will look at what I am doing and say, yes, this is something that matters, what can I do to help!?  Yet everyday I still wait, still wonder, still hope, and still dream.



One hundred percent, 100% of what I do is not for me, is not for the parents, is not for the social workers, or the adoption and foster care workers, it is all for the children!  The children who are trying their best to grow up in a world that hides things, shelters things, and distorts things so that children will not be hurt, so that the parents continue to look the best, to be their ever guiding protector and the children do what the parents want because after all "mother and father know best."

So many times I keep hearing from others about what I am doing and how it sounds so good and it is what children need and, as many times as I hear those words, I also hear it must be hard for you to do this alone.  I don't ever hear how someone would like to help me, how someone would like to sponsor me, how someone would be interested in finding me a professional publisher or agent to take the books I have to many more places than I can do on my own.  No, for some reason I keep hearing how it must be hard and how can I continue to do what I am doing when I am trying to raise four children alone.  Where is the money coming from Ola??!!  How can you do this Ola??!!

I will tell you how I can do it --- I do it, end of story!  These books are important enough to me to get into the hands of children that I will continue doing what I am doing and struggling with financial issues because I believe all children deserve to have these books in their hands.  I see too often how many people are out there wrestling within their adult lives with issues from the past that have gone unresolved and are unsettled in their lives and I know with the positive literature in the Believe In Me program, children can start to believe in self, work on the issues that could already be eating away at them, and ask the questions, receive some answers, some guidance, and learn to trust themselves throughout their whole childhood.  Why, oh why, would I want children to grow up and not have the inner strength to see the answers to their questions have always been inside of them all along when I can provide them with a way to work on those questions, those insecurities as they are growing and maturing instead?!




The time has to come for others to realize what I do is not about me, not about being an "angry adoptee" or an angry daughter but it is all about what I can do to assist others with how to aid the children in their lives with some resources to bring forth the courage to stand on one's own two feet and feel good about it, from the youngest age and up!!

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Pact Family Camp Experience

Time well spent away in California at the annual Pact Family Camp held at Granlibakken Resort in Tahoe City.  What a beautiful resort and the food was way too good!  Seriously!

So, I started my trip on the morning of July 16 at 04h00 am, flying out of Kelowna and into Vancouver for a connecting flight to California at 08h35.  What should have been a very nice trip, smooth and without hassle ended up being a very long drawn out day hanging around the Vancouver airport waiting to leave.  Two technically challenged airplanes, some very long wait times between finally getting onto one, an airline host who had no idea what was really happening yet kept trying to act like he knew what was happening, a $10 lunch voucher for the very over priced food at an airport, one cancelled flight, a trip through Canadian customs even though I had never even left the country, picked up my bag to get checked in on a new flight to California, a second trip through US customs, and after seven gruelling hours of waiting, finally getting another technically challenged plane with a pilot who decided the passengers who had upgraded their plane to accommodate all of us, had waited long enough and needed to get this flight out of Vancouver even on one engine, arriving in San Francisco with only enough time to switch flights only to be delayed another two hours before leaving to arrive in Reno, where upon arrival in Reno found out there was no luggage for me to pick up because they left it in San Francisco, and finally at 23h30 settling in to a very beautiful room at the Granlibakken Resort for my week of adventure with the Pact group of families!  Phew!!!  What an exhausting first day!

 

The week was fantastic!  I met a lot of amazing people who were so willing to do whatever they needed to for their children who may have some of the same type of experiences I had growing up and need to have a positive force in their life encouraging them.   I spoke on many occasion to some fabulous children & families about Believe In Me and the literature I have written.  Amazing events, learned lots, met and made many new friends, and taught a lot of people to Believe In Me!!


Believing from within needs to start from childhood -- why wait until adulthood to start the healing process when a child can learn to heal and soothe oneself from the beginning... what we all as adults are doing now, our children can also be doing!  Share the message of what Believe In Me offers to all of your friends, co-workers, and family!!

Friday, July 15, 2011

Summer of invites!

Well I am finally off to a good, no I'm going to say, great start for the summer!  I have two very exciting trips planned for this summer and I can't wait to meet as many people as I can at them both.

The first is the upcoming PACT Family Camp in Tahoe City, California.  I have been in touch over the past two years with the director and fellow author, Beth Hall, about becoming involved with this fabulous group.  It has paid off and I have been invited to join the many children and families and fellow adult adoptees to present to those who come to the camp.  It will be quite an experience and one I am very much looking forward to:o)

Pact, An Adoption Alliance is an amazing not for profit group who supports so many things.  Please check out their website and the variety of information and links available through them -- www.pactadopt.org

The second is the upcoming NACAC Conference in Denver, Colorado from August 4-6.  There are so many people to see and speakers to hear and I am very excited to be attending their lectures.

Dr. Bruce Perry will be the keynote speaker on Thursday, August 4 at the 2011 NACAC conference in Denver, Colorado!  Dr. Perry will also present an all-day pre-conference session—The Impact of Trauma on the Developing Child—on Wednesday, August 3. The full conference runs from August 4 to 6.

To learn more about NACAC, the conference and what they do, please check out their website -- www.nacac.org

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Success is what you make of it...

Well, it has been awhile since I have been available to post anything to this site.  Adoption Awareness Month has passed and was amazing!  I started off by flying out to Michigan where I met a wonderful transracial adult adoptee, Edie, who took me in to stay with herself and her family like we had been friends our whole life!  It was fantastic being surrounded by her four children who were so similar to my own, and being able to share very similar adoption issue stories with Edie was enlightening.  I was very interesting to see what type of issues and how she dealt with those things in her life and how I dealt with things.  As an only child, her life was a little different than mine and she mentioned that she grew up with, let's say blinders on.  When I say that I mean, she was very secure with who she was growing up because she had no reason not to be - it wasn't until she started University that she really started having feelings of not belonging and not fitting in.  She was treated differently all of a sudden and it was a difficult transition for her to become aware of the fact that people of colour ARE treated differently by those around them.  I was very used to that and was able to relate to everything she and I discussed because that was my everyday when I was growing up.  I didn't have any blinders on my eyes - I was, and to some degree still am, treated differently because of the colour of my skin.  Being different is not a bad thing - it never was meant to be and I wish that as I was growing up I had had the resources available to me that are now available to children and families now. 

While I was in the USA, I spoke with a lot of parents and support workers about the books, Why Can't You Look Like Me and Where Do I Belong, and how they are both useful in assisting children with how they are feeling when they believe they do not fit in, within their schools and even within their families.  The reaction I received was very positive and one I am excited to share.  Families are more than willing to support their children with any and all issues that arise in their lives and with the encouraging and empowering support from the book series I am providing, parents are eager for the release of each new title.  There are still four titles to be released and I am looking forward, as many people are, for the release of What Is A Part Of Me, hopefully to come out within the next few months. 

I was very fortunate to have had the opportunity to be involved with fellow transracial adoptees, Rhonda Roorda, co-author of In Their Own Voices, and Kevin Hoffmann, author of Growing Up Black In White.  What I found to be so enlightening for me was the way they both told their stories and how similar events were for both of them and also for myself.  Even though all of us had grown up in very different families and environments, there were some definite things that we could all relate to in some way or another.  There were a lot of questions asked, we answered what we could and still we could have easily sat there for another two or three hours discussing what the parents and support workers wanted, no needed, to kow all about.  We will havae to get together again and present as a panel in some way.   

The success of Adoption Awareness Month came for me on November 19 when I was awarded with an honour only bestowed upon 24 individuals within the Scotiabank world.  Here is what was said about who I am and what I do for children...

‘Her Success Her Way’


Remarks by Andrew McGillivray, Branch Manager, Orchard Place Scotiabank Branch, Kelowna, BC
“Her Success, Her Way” celebrates Scotiabank women and the different choices they have made which contribute to their success in life, not just at work but at home and in the community.  Throughout the year culminating on March 8th 2011, the 100th Anniversary of International Women’s Day, Scotiabank will be recognizing the successes of 24 chosen Scotiabank women, 12 from Canada and 12 from over 50 International locations, who have truly defined success on their own terms and whose successes have been noticed and submitted for consideration by a Scotiabank colleague.

Ola Zuri is the first B.C. Scotiabank woman to be selected to receive this honour. I am proud and delighted to share with you how Ola’s success is defined:

Ola is no doubt a successful woman. Anyone who knows her will agree that she lives with energy, enthusiasm and empathy.  Everywhere she goes she takes her whole heart with her. She’s been with Scotiabank for 4 years and is a team player who takes great pride in her role, both in the Bank with her colleagues and customers, but also outside the Bank – in the community.

Ola is an author, mentor, mother, and adoptee, and a very successful woman. She has an exceptionally strong feeling toward giving back to those around her, particularly to children.

Ola has one goal: to ensure all children become strong, independent and confident within themselves as they are growing up, and she strives to achieve this goal with the various programs she is an integral part of.

First, the Believe In Me program, established by Ola, provides positive literature to encourage and empower children to believe in who is inside of themselves with determination and faith while discovering and using perseverance for success and overcoming obstacles in life. Her books, Why Can’t You Look Like Me and Where Do I Belong open children up to dealing with their feelings when they are unsure of how to feel by shows them ways to actively teach and encourage them to believe in what is inside and not on what others may say or want for them.

As many people are aware, Ola is a full time single mother raising four of her five children, works part time at Scotiabank, writes books passionately, also part time, and in conjunction with the Adoptive Families Association of British Columbia and the Boys and Girls Club, is the Lead Mentor, volunteer coordinator, and facilitator of a group called, True Colours.  It is a mentoring program offered to children and families celebrating the variety of cultural diversity in our growing society.  The committment Ola has to children, families, and those in her community is impressive.  She has been an integral part of the group since it's inception in 2007.

In recognition of the various successes, Scotiabank is proud to present Ola with a cheque for $ 2,000.00 to present to a charity of her choice.  Congratulations Ola and keep up the great work - we are so proud of what you are doing for children and families everywhere! 


What an amazing day and the recognition was very important to me, more so as it helps me put the spotlight on children in a way that gives strength to them. So there I was in the middle of the mentoring group, children and families everywhere, and I took that moment to mark the occasion, during Adoption Awareness Month, by donating the monetary award to the Adoptive Families Association of British Columbia (AFABC). The AFABC provides exceptional support services for people looking to adopt, have decided to adopt, or already had a child or children join their family. AFABC also plays a significant role in promoting awareness of the thousands of BC children who are waiting for a family. What AFABC does is very important and is close to me heart. The more children who are placed into families, the better! What better way for children to celebrate Adoption Awareness Month than by being able to join a family to call their own!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Heartfelt reviews of children's literature

A couple of months ago I was befriended on Facebook by a young woman, Erika Ives, who is an adoptive mother of a 20 month old daughter from Uganda.


I was recently invited by Erika to join a Facebook group, Adoptionhair_skincare, and I find it to be an amazing support system of families wanting, and willing, to look after their children's hair.  What a great group and there are always lots of fabulous tips for styles you thought you knew all about...


As it turns out, Erika had ordered my books and has thus received them and written a review for both.


Feel free to join the above group and click on the links below to read the reviews - wonderful words from the heart!



Here is the post to what Erika said in her review of the first book:





Here is the post to what Erika said in her review of the second book:




Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Life getting started - finally!

My life has definitely been an interesting one - not too many years ago, I was born and then without any reason in my mind... given away.  Time and time again, I have thought about this event in my life as being one of the hardest events to deal with.  My thoughts revolving around the idea that I wasn't good enough for my biological mother, wasn't wanted by her, and most of all, wasn't loved by her.


Over the past year, and after finding someone to help me work on who I really am on the inside, on the thoughts and the questions in my life I thought I would never have answers to or be able to figure out, I am starting to believe I have had the answers within me all along - some people have the ability to use speech as a way of bringing out what is needed - to be able to talk, to converse their thoughts with others, while some people use a variety of the arts (dance, movement, visual, artistic, musical) to express what is within themselves - for me, it is in my script, in my words - words I have been writing from a young age and continue to write, even here today.





Throughout the years, there have been a lot of hurts, sorrows, and pains I have held onto and in my subconscious, I have held onto these feelings, believing somehow they were going to help me somewhere in my life.  A heart-wrenching pain that has unwittingly clung to my subconscious mind is that of my abandonment.  Abandoned, given away, an unwanted, unloved child - this was something that had happened to me at birth yet here, still gnawing at me, still dwelling within me negativity towards my biological mother -  And then in one statement, one declaration, all of that changed.  I was given these words to think about... "Are you really an unwanted, unloved child who was abandoned by her biological mother?  Really?  How is this so, Ola, when your biological mother gave birth to you?  She brought you into this world and yes, she did relinquish her rights to you, but would she have done that to someone she did not want, did not care about and did not love?  Ola, She could have had an abortion, yet she chose to give you a life instead - again yes, a life without her, yet a life all the same."


What??  How could that be right?  With all that my subconscious was constantly trying to deal with and now I have thrown a reality into the mix that I had never imagined before!  Well, the tears, tears and more tears I have shed from that utterance - from the belief within me that I was always an unwanted, unloved child to the awareness that I must have been loved to be here in this world now.  What a thought!!  What a declaration!!  All of a sudden, I now have an opportunity to start seeing myself for what I really am: important, valuable, worthy, loved, and sooo cherished that my biological mother sacrificed her relationship with me to entrust another couple to take care of me.... because she knew that she could not!  She gave me the greatest gift of all: LIFE itself.  And she made the greatest sacrifice for it: allowing others to raise me!





The following Shared Thought ™ is all about life, family and making a choice, a decision.  I have written these thoughts for years and when I look over them again, I see there are words within my words that I didn't see before now - words that are continually helping me and healing me on the inside:




  why do we decide to start a family?  is it because
of the need within to nurture someone and raise
this being into a fresh young adult?  is it because
the choice was made before the planning?  what
about the decision to seek for a being that is
perfect from the beginning.  every individual
eventually makes a choice as to whether a family
becomes a reality within his/her world.  the option
  for a child seems to be one that is made everyday.
if only there were a way for every person to realize 
  that the decisions that are made come from within.
the decision to welcome a young spirit into this
world is one that every individual must consider.
by allowing each being a choice, the freedom for
young children lives on.  every person has the
opportunity to decide which direction his/her life
  will lead.  there is only one chance for each person
to choose.  this choice could change a lifestyle...
choose carefully.


Upon re-reading this entry, I wonder how often my biological mother wanted a second chance to make  another choice than what she did - would she have made a different decision?  Would she have kept me?  Would she have wanted to keep me?  In 1995, when I finally met her, she said something I never thought I would hear.  "I have always told people about you, everybody knew you existed.  You were always a part of my life and I always wanted to keep you."  That was, and still is, one of the most amazing things she could have ever said to me.  To think she had always thought of me and told others about me was, and is, a reality I didn't surmise.  So many others never have the opportunity to find, let alone meet and talk with their biological parent(s).  I was very lucky to have had that chance, that one time in my life where I came together with the woman whom I thought didn't want me, didn't need me and didn't love me - when all along... she did.


Something so true for me is that she has always been a part of my life.  Forever and always, I had wondered about her - what she looked like - how tall or short she was - was she fat, skinny, darker than me, lighter than me - I can't think of a time when I didn't think about my biological mother while I was growing up.  There was a piece of me I felt was incomplete - a missing link to something I needed to know and I didn't have the answer to.  I used to write in my journal over and over again about what she would look like or be like - all of the ideas and dreams and thoughts I would write about who she was, who maybe I was too.


While I admit that I have had many times where I have wondered about the variety that is my life, I have been writing for so many years about who I am, what I am feeling, and where my life may be going that sometimes I didn't know where I was or where I actually fit in the picture.  After all of this time, and with the writing of the literature for the Believe In Me program, my life is changing, changing for the better.




Positive changes for me mean positive changes for my children and for children everywhere.  When I improve myself from within, I see how beneficial it is to teach the children how to improve themselves from within now, before they are grown, before they start trying to "figure it all out."  These changes must start now for the children and the Believe In Me program provides the literature to encourage and empower the children to see what is inside of themselves as they are growing, to learn to deal with the issues that may be hard yet are important enough to be dealt with as they are learning so much about life's events.    


I am so thankful for what is happening in my life right now - this has been a very, very emotional and draining experience yet for what I get in return, it's all worth it!!  The children to me are worth every bit of sacrifice I have to go through.


Who knew I would find this wonderful program within myself to aid all children with what hey may be feeling, may have felt or may still go through.  I feel very blessed to be a part of all of the lives I am able to touch with the messages provided that I didn't have in my life for so many years!


Thank you to all of you who are so willing to make the choice, take the chance on this program - Believe In Me - for the reality is - it is all about who is inside of you!!


Thursday, June 3, 2010

What about the money?? How much have you made so far??

I was asked the other day how I can keep doing what I am doing when I am not making any money and I can barely keep my head above water. My response... it's not about me. I am not in this for the money. If I were, I would have had to stop a long time ago because I have not made a cent yet! I've paid out to the ones who needed to be paid yet for me, I use what I have to live life with my kids and have had some wonderful help from a couple of guardian angels who have assisted me with my cross country tour.

Why does everything always have to be about the money? My heart, my soul, my life is all about bringing these positive messages to the children to ensure that they can grow up with the strength within themselves that so many of us adults don't seem to have yet. What took me so many years to find, to deal with the struggle within of so many questions and barriers I couldn't figure out, to not know who I really was and know it was okay to be this person - why would I want the children of today to have to wait until they are grown to try and figure out those same answers when I can assist them with the Believe In Me program and the literature I have written and will continue to write? It really is an area I am not willing to sit back and ponder.

Don't misunderstand me though - I obviously need the funds to pay for whatever comes into my life, whatever things I have to pay for that come up for my kids, and for the little extras that pop out of nowhere and really surprise me - however, those are small things when it comes to my program, Believe In Me, and the promotion of such positive material within the program. Those words, those messages are more important to me than the monetary aspect of what I could attain from it.

Family - Respect - Love - Identity - Loss - Fear - Hope - Faith - Belief - Courage - Strength - Healing - Self Esteem - Self Worth - Self Confidence - these are the reasons why I am involved with this program and with the writing of these books - building up a child's self esteem and self confidence is the most important factor for me!


So here I am, without the aid of a professional literary agent or publisher - continuing to mentor, continuing to promote, and continuing to write the messages that are needed to pass along to the children... I am so thrilled to be a part of a child's journey toward self!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Adoption Anthology to be Published in 2011!!

Last summer I was sent the following information:

Call for Submissions--Adoption Essays


Have you spent years wondering what caused your birth parents to give you up for adoption? Have you watched school children play on your street, wondering if one of them could be the baby you surrendered to social services? Have you wondered about the family history of your adopted child? If you have thought about such issues and are willing to write about your experiences in a personal essay, the editors of a new anthology of adoption stories, to be published by TouchWood Editions, want to hear from you.

Editors Bruce Gillespie and Lynne Van Luven are looking for personal accounts, clearly and honestly written, for publication in an anthology reflecting an exchange of ideas and feelings by birth parents, persons once surrendered for adoption, and adoptive parents. Please submit, by October 1, 2009, a 300-word proposal that outlines the story you would like to tell....etc.

Wow! How exciting for me to think about submitting a proposal to these people about something so passionate within my heart! I leapt at the idea! It was exhilarating to imagine being able to write anything I felt about my own thoughts... my own experience... my own journey and then to be able to share all of this with so many others who are starting out on their own journeys of discovery in this wide world of adoption, foster care and especially, parenting.

Having said that, the deadline for submission was drawing nearer and, after a long journey of mixing up phrases and thoughts, I finally had some words that made sense to me drafted up into a proposal and then... off it went into the vast jungle of email and letter proposals to the editors for review. Well, within ten days, I was fortunate to have heard this back from the editors:

Thanks for your interest in our project. Your proposal sounds quite intriguing, so we invite you to write an essay that examines your experiences as an adoptee and send it along to us when you’ve finished it. The deadline for essays is December 15, 2009.

Okay, so now I was really in it - I had been asked to submit my essay and I had two months to get something put together. No problem right? Wrong! I had so much to do now what with my having to work, doing my volunteer mentoring with the True Colours groups, starting up the new group as well as facilitating the already established group, co-facilitating the transracial parenting workshops, the daily routines and activities with all of my children, and of course my books and their promotion, whether that be through book signings or participating in the Raise A Reader program throughout the community. Phew! Somewhere in there, I still needed to sleep too!

As time continued to pass, I realized I had not put together very many more words than what I had submitted for my proposal. That was definitely not a good thing so I got down to work and revised and revised and revised my thoughts and ideas and finally was able to get the essay off to the editors for the deadline date of December 15.

I knew going into all of this that there would be a wait in finding out whether or not my essay would be selected as one that was worthy of being accepted into the anthology selections. Day after day, week after week, month after month passed and I still had heard nothing. As the idea of being included in this anthology was something very important to me, I decided it was also important enough for me to be in contact with the editors in a patient yet touch base kind of way. So, at least every two months, I sent out little touch base emails to find out the whereabouts of where they were in their decision making. I heard back as often as I sent out my queries and finally after my last email this month, I heard back some absolutely, wonderful, fabulous news...

Thank you so much for your submission to our anthology of adoption stories, Somebody's Child, and for your patience in awaiting our response. We were overwhelmed by the number of essays we received from authors across Canada and the United States, each of which had a moving, unique story to tell.

We are pleased to accept your submission, pending editing for style and length...


Yahoo!!! MY ESSAY WAS SELECTED AS ONE OF THE ENTRIES TO BE INCLUDED IN THE ANTHOLOGY!!!!!! Yay!! I am so excited and I can hardly wait to get started with the editors. I am truly thankful for both of the editors and their decision to choose my essay. I look forward to this journey I am continuing and I can't wait to see where it takes me next...

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

What a fabulous book tour!

McNally Robinson is an amazing bookstore! What a fortunate person I have been to be able to take part in readings and book signings with one of Canada's top booksellers!! On location in the Winnipeg location, I was very proud to read from my books, talk with the many people who stopped to listen and sign copies of my books!




Over the past two weeks, I was fortunate to be able to speak with so many families, educators, and people in the community about what the importance of family, children, belonging, fitting in, adoption, foster care and building a child's self esteem and self confidence levels from within.
It was so beneficial! Not only was it a benefit for myself and being able to speak with so many people - it was also a huge benefit for the people I spoke with to see how useful and necessary the Believe In Me program with the literature it is providing for the people in every family, every community is. There were many comments about how important the messages I am providing for the children is in today's schools, today's families.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Success on tour so far...


In the photo: Cindy Xavier, Executive Director of the Adoption Support Centre of Saskatchewan, Ola Zuri, Leona Wasserman, Board of Directors for the Adoption Support Centre of Saskatchewan.

Having been invited to many events across the country has been very uplifting and extremely important at this time. With so many stories in the news about children needing families and families needing children - the opportunity to bring the Believe In Me program to so many people, in all sorts of communities, has been fantastic!!



Saskatoon was great and there were a lot of families, educators, and support workers who came out to hear what I had to offer and were very keen on obtaining the literature to start making a difference in their families, schools and workplaces.

The books are on sale at the McNally Robinson's Saskatoon location.



In case you don't know - the overall purpose of the Believe In Me program is to provide positive literature to encourage and empower all children to believe in who is inside of themselves. Believe In Me will give parents the support they need to raise confidence levels in their children; will provide resources for the educators, support workers, and others in the community while helping children develop as individuals; and will ensure children, in every part of every country, are building a positive self esteem from within.


Books are being displayed and sold at the Saskatoon location of Indigo books




Off to
Oakville for another wonderful presentation and reception by many children, parents, educators, and support workers. The media coverage in each city has been fantastic and being able to open up and discuss the areas of concern with everyone and ensuring they all were learning about what the program is doing, where it is going and the benefits to all, has been so rewarding for me and ultimately, for the children!



In the photo: Pat Convery, Executive Director of the Adoption Coucil of Ontario,Ola Zuri, Susan Crawford of the Halton Multicultural Council.


Why Can’t You Look Like Me and Where Do I Belong, are the first two, of six, titles in the program. These books open children up to having to deal with their feelings when they are unsure of how to feel. They offer a distinctly broader view of dealing with situations any child may experience, on the level of the child, and then emphasizes the role to actively teach, and encourage, the child to believe in what is inside of himself/herself and not on what others may say or want for him/her.



In this photo: Ola Zuri, Angela Kreuger Freelance Writer for Suite101.com. I finally met the woman who wrote the beautiful words in my reviews of Why Can't You Look Like Me and Where Do I Belong.





Children, parents, educators, and support workers have all been coming to me and letting me know how important it is that I continue with this program. The need is there - the families are there - and most importantly - the children are there! Who could ask for anything more?


Now that’s what I am after!