Black Oasis

Ola Zuri launches new books!

2012-01-01T21:28:00.000-08:00

Starting off the new year by ending the last year with a bang!

What a wonderful turnout for the release of the latest book in the series, book three titled What Is A Part Of Me.

So happy to see so many people come out to support what I am doing for the children!

Providing autographs...

The launch of the new anthology, Somebody's Child, was a success and all copies were sold out!

Passages read...

Being able to speak with the people who came out to support me and what I am doing is a wonderful part of the experience.

Questions asked...

Smiles and laughs shared...

Total support in what I am doing...

All in a day's work!!!

Meet & Greet Local Author - Ola Zuri

2011-12-14T09:04:00.000-08:00

UPCOMING EVENT

Book Release - Mosaic Books

"What Is A Part Of Me"

Where: 411 Bernard Avenue

Downtown Kelowna

When: December 16, 2011

Time: 3:00 - 8:00

2011-12-14T09:01:00.000-08:00

I sit here wondering how each day can continue to pass and I still have heard nothing from the many, many people who were so impressed by what I am continuing to do for the children - the children who are growing up in our communities who do not have the full confidence within themselves that we parents believe they do, the self esteem that is needed to grow into well rounded individuals, the strength to stand on one's own two feet and feel from within that there is nothing one can not conquer by staying strong and believing in oneself. Each day I wait, I dream, I hope someone, anyone, will look at what I am doing and say, yes, this is something that matters, what can I do to help!? Yet everyday I still wait, still wonder, still hope, and still dream.

One hundred percent, 100% of what I do is not for me, is not for the parents, is not for the social workers, or the adoption and foster care workers, it is all for the children! The children who are trying their best to grow up in a world that hides things, shelters things, and distorts things so that children will not be hurt, so that the parents continue to look the best, to be their ever guiding protector and the children do what the parents want because after all "mother and father know best."

So many times I keep hearing from others about what I am doing and how it sounds so good and it is what children need and, as many times as I hear those words, I also hear it must be hard for you to do this alone. I don't ever hear how someone would like to help me, how someone would like to sponsor me, how someone would be interested in finding me a professional publisher or agent to take the books I have to many more places than I can do on my own. No, for some reason I keep hearing how it must be hard and how can I continue to do what I am doing when I am trying to raise four children alone. Where is the money coming from Ola??!! How can you do this Ola??!!

I will tell you how I can do it --- I do it, end of story! These books are important enough to me to get into the hands of children that I will continue doing what I am doing and struggling with financial issues because I believe all children deserve to have these books in their hands. I see too often how many people are out there wrestling within their adult lives with issues from the past that have gone unresolved and are unsettled in their lives and I know with the positive literature in the Believe In Me program, children can start to believe in self, work on the issues that could already be eating away at them, and ask the questions, receive some answers, some guidance, and learn to trust themselves throughout their whole childhood. Why, oh why, would I want children to grow up and not have the inner strength to see the answers to their questions have always been inside of them all along when I can provide them with a way to work on those questions, those insecurities as they are growing and maturing instead?!

The time has to come for others to realize what I do is not about me, not about being an "angry adoptee" or an angry daughter but it is all about what I can do to assist others with how to aid the children in their lives with some resources to bring forth the courage to stand on one's own two feet and feel good about it, from the youngest age and up!!

Adoption in the summertime!

2011-09-16T09:07:00.000-07:00

Having had the opportunity to travel to the USA this summer was quite an experience. I spoke with many of the people in the adoption triad and found out a lot of things I have experienced or have worried about or have thought about has also been on the minds of many other adoptees in the world. I heard some complaints - I heard some praises - I heard about some disappointments - I heard some sadness - I heard some painful memories - I heard some great memories. What stands out in my mind are the moments shared between so many new people in my life and the bond we seemed to create in those moments knowing we were all in a safe environment without judgement of who we were or what we should be happy for. It was quite a change from the way things have been in the past for me and for most of the people I have made a strong connection with now. I am very thankful for the wonderful opportunities I have been able to experience this year and I only look forward to the many more wonderful experiences to come!!

I want to remind all of those people whom I was able to talk with and present to that the children are really the most important member of the triad as they are the ones who are going to have to grow up learning and listening to all of those around them in their world and if we can assist them with the tools to start believing in the person who is inside of them from their young ages up to becoming an adult, then the books I am providing them with need to be in their rooms, in their classrooms, in their libraries, in their faces! How are we going to make that happen adults if we don't get out there and actually order those books for the children to start!!??

The time is now and the children are growing up everyday - order your copies for a child whom you know and l

Adoption - who is it really about??

2011-08-19T22:48:00.000-07:00

This has been quite the summer for me what with travelling to California for the Pact Family Camp in July and only having returned recently from Colorado where I attended the NACAC Conference. The chance to have spoken with so many parents at both venues this summer has been fabulous. I also believe being able to partake in a variety of the sessions available to children and making friends with those same children was very rewarding and the best part of all!!

I am looking at things a little more clearly now after having had the opportunity to listen to the variety of people, including social workers, counsellors, and others who appear to be fairly involved at the initial stage of placing the rainbow of children in care with families. Unfortunately where the breakdown seems to be starting for so many adoptees is within the system those same children are a part of.

Listening to speaker after speaker discuss the training and involvement necessary for those in the child welfare system was incredulous because as it turns out, there are not enough of the child welfare offices across the countries, both in the USA and Canada, getting or giving their staff the right kind of education when it comes to placing children of colour into the many waiting families.

The system breaks down by not ensuring the staff are all being educated enough with race issues in their own offices and then taking the same training to the families who are interested in adopting a child of colour. Offering courses after the fact is absolutely not acceptable because not everyone is taking the courses - especially not the child welfare workers to begin with!

There is no way that these children are being offered the best choice when the parents who are adopting them do not, have not and may not, ever decide to have any other people of colour in their lives besides the children they adopt or the ones whom they see when they participate in their annual heritage or family camps. These children are not being given an opportunity to be raised knowing their parents are confident and secure around the many people of colour in our society - the occasional few in their passing lives is definitely not good enough. It never has been and it never will be!

The children need to see their parents with and around people who look like them from the very beginning of their adoption. It is not good enough to take a class or attend a conference or workshop that is based on transracial adoption after the child has been placed within the family setting. Parents need to have already joined groups with people of colour in them - they need to already have friends whom they socialize with on a regular basis - they need to bring race into their daily lives as much as it will be in the child's daily life.

What is it the parents are so ashamed of? What are they hiding from? What are they afraid of when there is nothing of colour in their life until a little workshop has been attended and THEN all of a sudden it sounds like they now need to have a friend who is of colour in their life. NO WAY! Totally unacceptable and completely unfair to the children who are now becoming a part of their white family and will definitely have some questions or situations throughout life as a person of colour and having a family who has not participated in the colour of their lives throughout their life, is showing their children that the people who look like them are not good enough for them, as parents, to be friends with. How is that a benefit for the children of colour now that they are home in their new family? How does this help them to grow into strong people who feel a sense of pride being amongst other people of colour when their own parents would not acknowledge and befriend those some people of colour?

Children are growing up with parents and in the system with people who are trying their best to do what they think is what the kids need however what the kids need is to be considered in the equation. I understand, as a parent myself, how one would say some things are too much for a young child to understand or comprehend or if a parent wants to "protect" the child from the many dangers of society, of the world. However, when a child is shielded or treated as inferior to parents because the parent believes everything would be fine in the end, this is actually more harming to the child than helpful. Every child goes through the growing up phase in life and when parents pretend their child is not old enough to understand or handle situations, especially race issues, the child can grow up with an uneasy feeling towards self and how many parents really want that?

There are many ways for parents to ensure a healthy happy child who feels confident and secure from within. The books in this series are a definite asset to have in ones library - positive messages to increase a positive feeling towards self is what all children need. What better time to instil confidence in our children than from the very beginning of their lives - reading with them, providing reading material for them, and consistently being there for them in every way is so important and is something I will continue to provide for my children and for the many children out there in the world!!!

Pact Family Camp Experience

2011-07-31T15:12:00.000-07:00

Time well spent away in California at the annual Pact Family Camp held at Granlibakken Resort in Tahoe City. What a beautiful resort and the food was way too good! Seriously!

So, I started my trip on the morning of July 16 at 04h00 am, flying out of Kelowna and into Vancouver for a connecting flight to California at 08h35. What should have been a very nice trip, smooth and without hassle ended up being a very long drawn out day hanging around the Vancouver airport waiting to leave. Two technically challenged airplanes, some very long wait times between finally getting onto one, an airline host who had no idea what was really happening yet kept trying to act like he knew what was happening, a $10 lunch voucher for the very over priced food at an airport, one cancelled flight, a trip through Canadian customs even though I had never even left the country, picked up my bag to get checked in on a new flight to California, a second trip through US customs, and after seven gruelling hours of waiting, finally getting another technically challenged plane with a pilot who decided the passengers who had upgraded their plane to accommodate all of us, had waited long enough and needed to get this flight out of Vancouver even on one engine, arriving in San Francisco with only enough time to switch flights only to be delayed another two hours before leaving to arrive in Reno, where upon arrival in Reno found out there was no luggage for me to pick up because they left it in San Francisco, and finally at 23h30 settling in to a very beautiful room at the Granlibakken Resort for my week of adventure with the Pact group of families! Phew!!! What an exhausting first day!

The week was fantastic! I met a lot of amazing people who were so willing to do whatever they needed to for their children who may have some of the same type of experiences I had growing up and need to have a positive force in their life encouraging them. I spoke on many occasion to some fabulous children & families about Believe In Me and the literature I have written. Amazing events, learned lots, met and made many new friends, and taught a lot of people to Believe In Me!!

Believing from within needs to start from childhood -- why wait until adulthood to start the healing process when a child can learn to heal and soothe oneself from the beginning... what we all as adults are doing now, our children can also be doing! Share the message of what Believe In Me offers to all of your friends, co-workers, and family!!

Summer of invites!

2011-07-15T21:08:00.000-07:00

Well I am finally off to a good, no I'm going to say, great start for the summer! I have two very exciting trips planned for this summer and I can't wait to meet as many people as I can at them both.

The first is the upcoming PACT Family Camp in Tahoe City, California. I have been in touch over the past two years with the director and fellow author, Beth Hall, about becoming involved with this fabulous group. It has paid off and I have been invited to join the many children and families and fellow adult adoptees to present to those who come to the camp. It will be quite an experience and one I am very much looking forward to:o)

Pact, An Adoption Alliance is an amazing not for profit group who supports so many things. Please check out their website and the variety of information and links available through them -- www.pactadopt.org

The second is the upcoming NACAC Conference in Denver, Colorado from August 4-6. There are so many people to see and speakers to hear and I am very excited to be attending their lectures.

Dr. Bruce Perry will be the keynote speaker on Thursday, August 4 at the 2011 NACAC conference in Denver, Colorado! Dr. Perry will also present an all-day pre-conference session—The Impact of Trauma on the Developing Child—on Wednesday, August 3. The full conference runs from August 4 to 6.

To learn more about NACAC, the conference and what they do, please check out their website -- www.nacac.org

Back in the swing of things!!

2011-07-06T04:14:00.000-07:00

As I sit here and gaze at my computer screen, I realize I have not had as much contact with those in the blogging world as I would have liked. Well here I am... finally! :o)

So let's see... where to begin --- over these past months, I have been able to promote, discuss, and present a variety of events to many people. Being able to participate when and as requested, is an honor for me. I love what I do and being able to pass along the messages of encouragement and empowerment found within the words of my books, is nothing but fabulous!

Children who read the words I have written and feel good about who is inside of themselves.

Parents who read the words and see there are so many ways of guiding their children through any of the emotions or stresses that arise as days go by.

Support workers and educators who read the words and know there is a new way of aiding the children and families with issues that may arise in a child's everyday experiences and can provide a positive resource in a non threatening way.

And that is what is most important for the children after all!!!

My Adoption Awareness month last November had me spending some time travelling to Michigan where I was very fortunate to have presented on a panel with two wonderful authors and fellow adoptees, whom I may now call friends, Rhonda Roorda and Kevin Hoffman. They were very informative and it was amazing to speak with them both, relate to some of the same type of issues growing up and to be available to all those who showed up to listen to what we all had to say. What an experience! I look forward to partaking in more opportunities with the both of them!

Here is a story I was surprised about during the late fall and thought I would share -- my ten year old daughter had spent the night at a friend's place for a birthday party. When I went to pick her up the following day, she commented on a few things, mostly about how a couple of her friends had argued during most of the evening. The comment that stood out the most for me was, "I don't understand why they argue so much, it's not like they are really cousins anyway." I wondered what she meant by that and questioned her. She responded by telling me, "Mom, they aren't "real" cousins because so and so is adopted."

Now, if you can imagine, I was pretty surprised to hear that because my children know all about adoption and know I am adopted as well. I continued to prod for some answers from my daughter. "What do you think it means to be a "real" cousin honey?" "Well, if her mom had had her then she would be related to her family but she wasn't so she isn't really their daughter or her cousin."

If you have ever seen the look of a deer in the headlights of any oncoming vehicle that would be the look I had on my face and in my heart. I felt like everything I was trying to teach my child had flown out the window because she didn't understand that being a "real" member of anyone's family means being a part of their life, in their heart, in their homes, and in every way possible. I reminded my young daughter, who I believe was and is old enough to hear direct answers from me, about my status of being a person who was adopted and queried her as to what she thought of my being a "real" member of my family. Her answer was "Mom, I feel sorry for you and for her because you didn't have your real families to live with. I know you are adopted but you are my mom and so you have me and we are real." Again, look of a deer... As I continued to discuss the blessing of having been adopted into a family rather than be left in the foster care system, I could see the understanding finally come into my daughter's face and she seemed to believe what I was saying about families and belonging to one, real or not. All families are real whether a child is adopted, fostered, biological, step, surrogate, whatever way a family is made up. It took a lot of discussion and I am glad she talked about everything so openly with me -- I would rather her speak open with me than to speak frankly with her friend and possibly lose a friendship over misunderstanding what "real" meant in an adopteees life.

Adoption does not make anyone less than -- it never has and never will. So why is it that there are still so many people out there who think that way?? I am glad to say my daughter understands a little more about this subject and now we need to ensure more people are made aware so that young hearts are not hurt for something that promised a forever family to them! Having my own experience as an adoptee makes all the difference in the world and I am thankful to my family for making mine real!

Success is what you make of it...

2010-12-07T04:45:00.000-08:00

Well, it has been awhile since I have been available to post anything to this site. Adoption Awareness Month has passed and was amazing! I started off by flying out to Michigan where I met a wonderful transracial adult adoptee, Edie, who took me in to stay with herself and her family like we had been friends our whole life! It was fantastic being surrounded by her four children who were so similar to my own, and being able to share very similar adoption issue stories with Edie was enlightening. I was very interesting to see what type of issues and how she dealt with those things in her life and how I dealt with things. As an only child, her life was a little different than mine and she mentioned that she grew up with, let's say blinders on. When I say that I mean, she was very secure with who she was growing up because she had no reason not to be - it wasn't until she started University that she really started having feelings of not belonging and not fitting in. She was treated differently all of a sudden and it was a difficult transition for her to become aware of the fact that people of colour ARE treated differently by those around them. I was very used to that and was able to relate to everything she and I discussed because that was my everyday when I was growing up. I didn't have any blinders on my eyes - I was, and to some degree still am, treated differently because of the colour of my skin. Being different is not a bad thing - it never was meant to be and I wish that as I was growing up I had had the resources available to me that are now available to children and families now.

While I was in the USA, I spoke with a lot of parents and support workers about the books, Why Can't You Look Like Me and Where Do I Belong, and how they are both useful in assisting children with how they are feeling when they believe they do not fit in, within their schools and even within their families. The reaction I received was very positive and one I am excited to share. Families are more than willing to support their children with any and all issues that arise in their lives and with the encouraging and empowering support from the book series I am providing, parents are eager for the release of each new title. There are still four titles to be released and I am looking forward, as many people are, for the release of What Is A Part Of Me, hopefully to come out within the next few months.

I was very fortunate to have had the opportunity to be involved with fellow transracial adoptees, Rhonda Roorda, co-author of In Their Own Voices, and Kevin Hoffmann, author of Growing Up Black In White. What I found to be so enlightening for me was the way they both told their stories and how similar events were for both of them and also for myself. Even though all of us had grown up in very different families and environments, there were some definite things that we could all relate to in some way or another. There were a lot of questions asked, we answered what we could and still we could have easily sat there for another two or three hours discussing what the parents and support workers wanted, no needed, to kow all about. We will havae to get together again and present as a panel in some way.

The success of Adoption Awareness Month came for me on November 19 when I was awarded with an honour only bestowed upon 24 individuals within the Scotiabank world. Here is what was said about who I am and what I do for children...

‘Her Success Her Way’

Remarks by Andrew McGillivray, Branch Manager, Orchard Place Scotiabank Branch, Kelowna, BC
“Her Success, Her Way” celebrates Scotiabank women and the different choices they have made which contribute to their success in life, not just at work but at home and in the community. Throughout the year culminating on March 8th 2011, the 100th Anniversary of International Women’s Day, Scotiabank will be recognizing the successes of 24 chosen Scotiabank women, 12 from Canada and 12 from over 50 International locations, who have truly defined success on their own terms and whose successes have been noticed and submitted for consideration by a Scotiabank colleague.

Ola Zuri is the first B.C. Scotiabank woman to be selected to receive this honour. I am proud and delighted to share with you how Ola’s success is defined:

Ola is no doubt a successful woman. Anyone who knows her will agree that she lives with energy, enthusiasm and empathy. Everywhere she goes she takes her whole heart with her. She’s been with Scotiabank for 4 years and is a team player who takes great pride in her role, both in the Bank with her colleagues and customers, but also outside the Bank – in the community.

Ola is an author, mentor, mother, and adoptee, and a very successful woman. She has an exceptionally strong feeling toward giving back to those around her, particularly to children.

Ola has one goal: to ensure all children become strong, independent and confident within themselves as they are growing up, and she strives to achieve this goal with the various programs she is an integral part of.

First, the Believe In Me program, established by Ola, provides positive literature to encourage and empower children to believe in who is inside of themselves with determination and faith while discovering and using perseverance for success and overcoming obstacles in life. Her books, Why Can’t You Look Like Me and Where Do I Belong open children up to dealing with their feelings when they are unsure of how to feel by shows them ways to actively teach and encourage them to believe in what is inside and not on what others may say or want for them.

As many people are aware, Ola is a full time single mother raising four of her five children, works part time at Scotiabank, writes books passionately, also part time, and in conjunction with the Adoptive Families Association of British Columbia and the Boys and Girls Club, is the Lead Mentor, volunteer coordinator, and facilitator of a group called, True Colours. It is a mentoring program offered to children and families celebrating the variety of cultural diversity in our growing society. The committment Ola has to children, families, and those in her community is impressive. She has been an integral part of the group since it's inception in 2007.

In recognition of the various successes, Scotiabank is proud to present Ola with a cheque for $ 2,000.00 to present to a charity of her choice. Congratulations Ola and keep up the great work - we are so proud of what you are doing for children and families everywhere!

What an amazing day and the recognition was very important to me, more so as it helps me put the spotlight on children in a way that gives strength to them. So there I was in the middle of the mentoring group, children and families everywhere, and I took that moment to mark the occasion, during Adoption Awareness Month, by donating the monetary award to the Adoptive Families Association of British Columbia (AFABC). The AFABC provides exceptional support services for people looking to adopt, have decided to adopt, or already had a child or children join their family. AFABC also plays a significant role in promoting awareness of the thousands of BC children who are waiting for a family. What AFABC does is very important and is close to me heart. The more children who are placed into families, the better! What better way for children to celebrate Adoption Awareness Month than by being able to join a family to call their own!

What a Great Start To Adoption Awareness Month!!!

2010-10-31T22:50:00.000-07:00

After many months of trying, praying, and hoping that I would be able to share the series of books and the Believe In Me program and everything I have to offer within more communities in as many places as I can, I am finally heading to the United States!!! What an awesome break!!

As part of the National Adoption Awareness Month campaign in November, I have been invited to the Michigan/Ohio area by the Adopt America Network to be a guest speaker / panel member with renowned adoption author, Rhonda Roorda, co-author of In Their Own Voices, (Columbia University Press, 2000) and Kevin Hoffman, author of Growing Up Black In White, ( Vine Appointment Publishing, 2010) on November 6, 2010. As an author who has messages of empowerment and inspiration to bring to all children, I am so excited to be able to promote and present the books and the program, as well as offer book signings with the families and the many support people in the communities in Michigan and Ohio and all of those who venture out to the event!

I will introduce anyone who has never read about me, and remind all of those who have, about the program created by me, using books and literature, titled Believe In Me. The overall purpose of the program is to provide positive literature to encourage and empower all children to believe in themselves with determination and faith while discovering and using perseverance for success and overcoming obstacles in life.

Why Can’t You Look Like Me (Black Oasis Ent., 2009) and Where Do I Belong (Black Oasis Ent., 2009) are the first two, of six, titles in the program. The series of books open children up, from a young age and up, to having to deal with their feelings when they are unsure of how to feel. They offer a distinctly broader view of dealing with situations any child may experience that is on the level of the child. Next, the books emphasize roles to actively teach and encourage the child to believe in what is inside of himself/herself and not on what others may say or want for him / her. What Is A Part Of Me, is the next title in the series, looking at a possible Winter 2010/11 release date.

With the series, the opportunity is there for children to read, explore, and discover who they really are inside and know that it is okay to be that person. There are interactive questions at the end of each story which will aid families, caregivers, and educators, to discuss any areas of difficulty, or emotion, that may possibly come up as a result of the story. Questions and discussions that perhaps would have been harder to raise if not for this positive literature. It can be quite a task for a child to not understand what is going on inside and then not know how to discuss it. This series of books will help pave the way for so many children, (as well as for the parents) to open up and use the tools that have been inside of themselves all along!!

Now, who wouldn't want to help promote such a positive thing in their communities??? I am so glad to be a part of the families, support workers, educators, and most definitely, the children's lives, knowing they are learning to empower themselves from within... as they are growing!

I would love to see, meet, and talk with all those who come out to meet myself and the other authors at this fabulous kickoff to November's Adoption Awareness Month activities!! To register for the event, please follow the link below! Hope to see you there!!
http://adoptamericanetwork.org/1346/adopt-america-network-to-host-panel-on-transracial-adoption/

Adoption and Foster Care - Taboo Subjects???

2010-09-21T02:28:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed there are certain topics, subjects, that seem to be taboo to talk about? Like, for example: race, religion, sex, politics, money, sexual orientation and relationships, and for some reason, adoption. Go figure that something that is so important to many, many people, could actually be on the list of taboo subjects to discuss!

As I have been researching and struggling through my own journey of adoption, I have found that there are many people who actually DO talk about adoption, almost on a daily basis. There are a variety of blogs, websites, tweeters, facebook pages, myspace pages, articles, news broadcasts and stories all over the place when it comes to this supposedly taboo subject.

Now, you may be wondering, how this is possible if the subject appears to be so off limits. I have wondered the same thing and decided that it was finally my turn to step out and really write about it.

Adoption, as it turns out, is a subject that is actually in the news a lot - the celebrities are all over the headlines with new children whom they have brought home, or Hollywood movies of recent that are based on adoption and foster care, like "Despicable Me," "The Blind Side," "Orphan," "Meet the Robinsons," and Pauly Shore's controversial film titled, "Adopted." Then of course there are other stories like the one in the news where the adoptive mother took the child to the airport and left him there, alone, to go back to his country, as she was unable to reach him emotionally and couldn’t take it anymore.

So, what makes this subject so scary, so wary for people to discuss?? Is it because of the fact that infertility comes into play for some people? Is it because people who have not been touched by adoption, or foster care, are afraid to talk about the realities of attachment disorder in children who have been placed in foster care and then adopted? What is it that scares so many people and makes discussing it so taboo? The realization that children who are placed into these realities are struggling through emotions, fears, anxieties, upheavals and so much more is something that can not be ignored any longer. These children are crying out for something, anything to aid them on their journey of recovery. I will be that aid, now and always!

Even though these stories appear to be in the news a lot, the idea of picking up a story about adoption or foster care seems to scare a lot of publishing houses and literary agents - scares them so much that there are a limited number of manuscripts that are even picked up by the specialty publishing houses and very rarely is a small independent author picked up by a house and even more rarely by an agent - perhaps there is a small fear that these story ideas really wouldn’t sell and then how would they make any money??

Okay, I get that and I can even understand that. Having said that however, the genre of books that is being offered through myself is one that has not been touched and is what is needed right now.

The children in the adoption and foster care world are being sent too many mixed messages - especially the transracially adopted or fostered children. There is a message being ingrained upon them that adoption is alright for them, for now. However... if they choose to look for their biological family, that is not always acceptable in the adoptive or foster parents eyes. When I say this, I mean that a lot of the time the youth, and then young adults, are so afraid of hurting the parents feelings when choosing to look for any biological piece of them, that they choose to wait - choose to wait as so many adults have done for years now, until the parents have passed away and then finally go in search of something, someone - some biological connection to their world... to their being.

What is so harmful about that you may wonder... well, what is harming is that these youth and young adults are not free to express what they are truly feeling within as they have been growing up. There is no real outlet for them to discuss the anguish, possible sorrow, that is growing within their hearts and souls. Adoption tears at everyone in a different way, yet the most similar one is that of having been abandoned - the child growing up as an adoptee or foster child, has that initial feeling of loss attached to that adoption or foster care situation.

Are the children in foster care, and the children who are in orphanages across the world, asking to be adopted or fostered as part of their life journey? Are these young children wanting to start their lives out with abandonment issues? I don't think so. I don't believe that any child would ask for the emotional upheaval that is experienced in foster care and then, more often than not, transitions over into the new life started when adopted. When I was growing up, I know I never once asked to be in the situations I was put in and yet, now as an adult, I am asked why I can't get over them. Why am I still bothered by issues that were from the past, from a beginning I did not ask for?

There is a reality that so many are not willing to look at when it comes to children who started out their lives as being abandoned, given up. This reality is one that, at some point in one's life, will have an affect on how relationships play out, how conversations are brought up, and even how certain aspects of daily life are fulfilled. I have noticed there are a lot of fostered and adopted adults who gravitate towards the profession of counselor, or support worker, or volunteer to work in the industry that has had such an important impact on one's life. I know I have and that is one of the main reasons I write... to help others who may feel the way I felt and who may not realize that speaking out for themselves is key to helping themselves heal, from the inside out!

The books that are being brought forth by myself address these issues in ways that aid all children with the healing process - a healing that is necessary even in this day and age of adoption and foster care. The children growing up today have so many resources to aid with almost every type of situation they may go through - when it comes to believing in what is inside of yourself, I have not been able to locate materials that will aid children the way I believe is necessary. The resource I provide with the Believe In Me program, through the literature I have written (Why Can't You Look Like Me and Where Do I Belong) and the literature I continue writing, those materials are now becoming available!

I know what type of book I would pick up and purchase for my children - the books I am providing are in our collection and are making a difference in many lives as I speak. That is what is key here and that is why I continue to write! My illustrator, Jenn, tells a story in itself with the images she continues to come up with - the words flow with the illustrations so anyone can pick up a book and understand there is a huge message involved, not only in the words, but also in the images.

My passion is for these books to be available to the children, to all of the children who may be going through their own personal journey of healing within.

So, are adoption and foster care taboo subjects???

Not in my world and not in any young person's journey through life as an adoptee or foster child!! All you have to do is ask one of them...

Heartfelt reviews of children's literature

2010-07-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago I was befriended on Facebook by a young woman, Erika Ives, who is an adoptive mother of a 20 month old daughter from Uganda.

I was recently invited by Erika to join a Facebook group, Adoptionhair_skincare, and I find it to be an amazing support system of families wanting, and willing, to look after their children's hair. What a great group and there are always lots of fabulous tips for styles you thought you knew all about...

As it turns out, Erika had ordered my books and has thus received them and written a review for both.

Feel free to join the above group and click on the links below to read the reviews - wonderful words from the heart!

Here is the post to what Erika said in her review of the first book:

http://www.facebook.com/topic.phpuid=109425222412663&topic=275

Here is the post to what Erika said in her review of the second book:

http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=109425222412663&topic=276

Life getting started - finally!

2010-07-14T18:02:00.000-07:00

My life has definitely been an interesting one - not too many years ago, I was born and then without any reason in my mind... given away. Time and time again, I have thought about this event in my life as being one of the hardest events to deal with. My thoughts revolving around the idea that I wasn't good enough for my biological mother, wasn't wanted by her, and most of all, wasn't loved by her.

Over the past year, and after finding someone to help me work on who I really am on the inside, on the thoughts and the questions in my life I thought I would never have answers to or be able to figure out, I am starting to believe I have had the answers within me all along - some people have the ability to use speech as a way of bringing out what is needed - to be able to talk, to converse their thoughts with others, while some people use a variety of the arts (dance, movement, visual, artistic, musical) to express what is within themselves - for me, it is in my script, in my words - words I have been writing from a young age and continue to write, even here today.

Throughout the years, there have been a lot of hurts, sorrows, and pains I have held onto and in my subconscious, I have held onto these feelings, believing somehow they were going to help me somewhere in my life. A heart-wrenching pain that has unwittingly clung to my subconscious mind is that of my abandonment. Abandoned, given away, an unwanted, unloved child - this was something that had happened to me at birth yet here, still gnawing at me, still dwelling within me negativity towards my biological mother - And then in one statement, one declaration, all of that changed. I was given these words to think about... "Are you really an unwanted, unloved child who was abandoned by her biological mother? Really? How is this so, Ola, when your biological mother gave birth to you? She brought you into this world and yes, she did relinquish her rights to you, but would she have done that to someone she did not want, did not care about and did not love? Ola, She could have had an abortion, yet she chose to give you a life instead - again yes, a life without her, yet a life all the same."

What?? How could that be right? With all that my subconscious was constantly trying to deal with and now I have thrown a reality into the mix that I had never imagined before! Well, the tears, tears and more tears I have shed from that utterance - from the belief within me that I was always an unwanted, unloved child to the awareness that I must have been loved to be here in this world now. What a thought!! What a declaration!! All of a sudden, I now have an opportunity to start seeing myself for what I really am: important, valuable, worthy, loved, and sooo cherished that my biological mother sacrificed her relationship with me to entrust another couple to take care of me.... because she knew that she could not! She gave me the greatest gift of all: LIFE itself. And she made the greatest sacrifice for it: allowing others to raise me!

The following Shared Thought ™ is all about life, family and making a choice, a decision. I have written these thoughts for years and when I look over them again, I see there are words within my words that I didn't see before now - words that are continually helping me and healing me on the inside:

  why do we decide to start a family? is it because
of the need within to nurture someone and raise
this being into a fresh young adult? is it because
the choice was made before the planning? what
about the decision to seek for a being that is
perfect from the beginning. every individual
eventually makes a choice as to whether a family
becomes a reality within his/her world. the option
  for a child seems to be one that is made everyday.
if only there were a way for every person to realize
  that the decisions that are made come from within.
the decision to welcome a young spirit into this
world is one that every individual must consider.
by allowing each being a choice, the freedom for
young children lives on. every person has the
opportunity to decide which direction his/her life
  will lead. there is only one chance for each person
to choose. this choice could change a lifestyle...
choose carefully.

Upon re-reading this entry, I wonder how often my biological mother wanted a second chance to make another choice than what she did - would she have made a different decision? Would she have kept me? Would she have wanted to keep me? In 1995, when I finally met her, she said something I never thought I would hear. "I have always told people about you, everybody knew you existed. You were always a part of my life and I always wanted to keep you." That was, and still is, one of the most amazing things she could have ever said to me. To think she had always thought of me and told others about me was, and is, a reality I didn't surmise. So many others never have the opportunity to find, let alone meet and talk with their biological parent(s). I was very lucky to have had that chance, that one time in my life where I came together with the woman whom I thought didn't want me, didn't need me and didn't love me - when all along... she did.

Something so true for me is that she has always been a part of my life. Forever and always, I had wondered about her - what she looked like - how tall or short she was - was she fat, skinny, darker than me, lighter than me - I can't think of a time when I didn't think about my biological mother while I was growing up. There was a piece of me I felt was incomplete - a missing link to something I needed to know and I didn't have the answer to. I used to write in my journal over and over again about what she would look like or be like - all of the ideas and dreams and thoughts I would write about who she was, who maybe I was too.

While I admit that I have had many times where I have wondered about the variety that is my life, I have been writing for so many years about who I am, what I am feeling, and where my life may be going that sometimes I didn't know where I was or where I actually fit in the picture. After all of this time, and with the writing of the literature for the Believe In Me program, my life is changing, changing for the better.

Positive changes for me mean positive changes for my children and for children everywhere. When I improve myself from within, I see how beneficial it is to teach the children how to improve themselves from within now, before they are grown, before they start trying to "figure it all out." These changes must start now for the children and the Believe In Me program provides the literature to encourage and empower the children to see what is inside of themselves as they are growing, to learn to deal with the issues that may be hard yet are important enough to be dealt with as they are learning so much about life's events.

I am so thankful for what is happening in my life right now - this has been a very, very emotional and draining experience yet for what I get in return, it's all worth it!! The children to me are worth every bit of sacrifice I have to go through.

Who knew I would find this wonderful program within myself to aid all children with what hey may be feeling, may have felt or may still go through. I feel very blessed to be a part of all of the lives I am able to touch with the messages provided that I didn't have in my life for so many years!

Thank you to all of you who are so willing to make the choice, take the chance on this program - Believe In Me - for the reality is - it is all about who is inside of you!!

Anthology Update...

2010-07-06T09:22:00.000-07:00

I have been writing and revising and revising and revising the essay all about myself and my adoption experience, to be included in the Adoption Anthology, Somebody's Child, to be released in 2011, and I am finally done!

So what you may be saying - well so what is that this means there have been many things on my mind and that I have been pulling them out and remembering events and memories in my life. What a headache I have had!

Having said that, and as time goes on, I sit and ask myself why I am continuing to do what I am doing. The books, the essays, and all of the writing I do. Then another story comes on in the news about how some new celebrity has adopted another child or there is another story about a child in foster care, or a story about someone who hasn't enough or has no cares in the world and I think, that is why I am writing.

So many people out there, lost, confused, unsure and don't know where to turn or how to help themselves. The Believe In Me program offers so much to those who feel worthless, useless, unwanted, uncared for and/or about, and for those who want more from somewhere and don't know where to start looking.

The importance is staying positive within - knowing who is inside is what I want to help others achieve. For me, it will always be about helping others, showing others who is important, for now

and for ever!!

Summer Interview Series

2010-06-16T04:08:00.000-07:00

Sally Bacchetta, Author, Freelence Writer, Adoptive Parent, is doing a series of interviews with people who's lives have been touched by adoption.

Sally was kind enough to invite me to be one of the candidates and I shared with her my answers. Please follow her series - you may find yourself quite intrigued by who she has as guests and may possibly find some answers to questions you didn't know before...

Feel free to check out the first two weeks of interviews here at the following link: http://theadoptiveparent.blogspot.com/

What about the money?? How much have you made so far??

2010-06-03T15:07:00.000-07:00

I was asked the other day how I can keep doing what I am doing when I am not making any money and I can barely keep my head above water. My response... it's not about me. I am not in this for the money. If I were, I would have had to stop a long time ago because I have not made a cent yet! I've paid out to the ones who needed to be paid yet for me, I use what I have to live life with my kids and have had some wonderful help from a couple of guardian angels who have assisted me with my cross country tour.

Why does everything always have to be about the money? My heart, my soul, my life is all about bringing these positive messages to the children to ensure that they can grow up with the strength within themselves that so many of us adults don't seem to have yet. What took me so many years to find, to deal with the struggle within of so many questions and barriers I couldn't figure out, to not know who I really was and know it was okay to be this person - why would I want the children of today to have to wait until they are grown to try and figure out those same answers when I can assist them with the Believe In Me program and the literature I have written and will continue to write? It really is an area I am not willing to sit back and ponder.

Don't misunderstand me though - I obviously need the funds to pay for whatever comes into my life, whatever things I have to pay for that come up for my kids, and for the little extras that pop out of nowhere and really surprise me - however, those are small things when it comes to my program, Believe In Me, and the promotion of such positive material within the program. Those words, those messages are more important to me than the monetary aspect of what I could attain from it.

Family - Respect - Love - Identity - Loss - Fear - Hope - Faith - Belief - Courage - Strength - Healing - Self Esteem - Self Worth - Self Confidence - these are the reasons why I am involved with this program and with the writing of these books - building up a child's self esteem and self confidence is the most important factor for me!

So here I am, without the aid of a professional literary agent or publisher - continuing to mentor, continuing to promote, and continuing to write the messages that are needed to pass along to the children... I am so thrilled to be a part of a child's journey toward self!

Nominations are ready to be cast!!

2010-06-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

Hello to all!!

Well, it looks like time is running out to nominate your favorite books so better cast your votes now!!

Hmmm... looks like there are a couple of good books below trying to get your attention...

Adoptive Families Magazine is looking for nominations for your favorite adoption books. There are several categories to choose from: 1. Adoption memoirs 2. Adoption-friendly parenting books 3. Children's picture books about adoption 4. Children's books that celebrate diversity 5. Young-adult novels with an adoption storyline 6. Novels with an adoption storyline

NOMINATE HERE-NOMINATE NOW:http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/polls/80

True Colours Mentoring for children

2010-05-24T20:41:00.000-07:00

The True Colours Mentoring Group - photos of children, parents, families, mentors - all enjoying their time together at each session - all celebrating a variety of cultural activities, from enjoying the crafts and colouring, having fun in the gym, taking part in preparing various ethnic foods, hanging out with each other and listening to music from each culture.

Angela Krueger, the Adoption Feature Writer with Suite101.com, has been kind enough to interview me and has written another article - this time featuring the True Colours Mentoring Group that I have been facilitating for the past three years.

The program has been a huge success and the children and families here in BC have been benefiting ever since it's inception. I am so happy to be a part of this positive resource for the families who are wanting to ensure their children are taking part in the cultural activities and enjoying the time we share together each month.

Click on the link below to read more:
http://adoption.suite101.com/article.cfm/interview-with-adoptee-ola-zuri-about-true-colours-mentoring

Adoption Anthology to be Published in 2011!!

2010-05-20T08:53:00.001-07:00

Last summer I was sent the following information:

Call for Submissions--Adoption Essays

Have you spent years wondering what caused your birth parents to give you up for adoption? Have you watched school children play on your street, wondering if one of them could be the baby you surrendered to social services? Have you wondered about the family history of your adopted child? If you have thought about such issues and are willing to write about your experiences in a personal essay, the editors of a new anthology of adoption stories, to be published by TouchWood Editions, want to hear from you.

Editors Bruce Gillespie and Lynne Van Luven are looking for personal accounts, clearly and honestly written, for publication in an anthology reflecting an exchange of ideas and feelings by birth parents, persons once surrendered for adoption, and adoptive parents. Please submit, by October 1, 2009, a 300-word proposal that outlines the story you would like to tell....etc.

Wow! How exciting for me to think about submitting a proposal to these people about something so passionate within my heart! I leapt at the idea! It was exhilarating to imagine being able to write anything I felt about my own thoughts... my own experience... my own journey and then to be able to share all of this with so many others who are starting out on their own journeys of discovery in this wide world of adoption, foster care and especially, parenting.

Having said that, the deadline for submission was drawing nearer and, after a long journey of mixing up phrases and thoughts, I finally had some words that made sense to me drafted up into a proposal and then... off it went into the vast jungle of email and letter proposals to the editors for review. Well, within ten days, I was fortunate to have heard this back from the editors:

Thanks for your interest in our project. Your proposal sounds quite intriguing, so we invite you to write an essay that examines your experiences as an adoptee and send it along to us when you’ve finished it. The deadline for essays is December 15, 2009.

Okay, so now I was really in it - I had been asked to submit my essay and I had two months to get something put together. No problem right? Wrong! I had so much to do now what with my having to work, doing my volunteer mentoring with the True Colours groups, starting up the new group as well as facilitating the already established group, co-facilitating the transracial parenting workshops, the daily routines and activities with all of my children, and of course my books and their promotion, whether that be through book signings or participating in the Raise A Reader program throughout the community. Phew! Somewhere in there, I still needed to sleep too!

As time continued to pass, I realized I had not put together very many more words than what I had submitted for my proposal. That was definitely not a good thing so I got down to work and revised and revised and revised my thoughts and ideas and finally was able to get the essay off to the editors for the deadline date of December 15.

I knew going into all of this that there would be a wait in finding out whether or not my essay would be selected as one that was worthy of being accepted into the anthology selections. Day after day, week after week, month after month passed and I still had heard nothing. As the idea of being included in this anthology was something very important to me, I decided it was also important enough for me to be in contact with the editors in a patient yet touch base kind of way. So, at least every two months, I sent out little touch base emails to find out the whereabouts of where they were in their decision making. I heard back as often as I sent out my queries and finally after my last email this month, I heard back some absolutely, wonderful, fabulous news...

Thank you so much for your submission to our anthology of adoption stories, Somebody's Child, and for your patience in awaiting our response. We were overwhelmed by the number of essays we received from authors across Canada and the United States, each of which had a moving, unique story to tell.

We are pleased to accept your submission, pending editing for style and length...

Yahoo!!! MY ESSAY WAS SELECTED AS ONE OF THE ENTRIES TO BE INCLUDED IN THE ANTHOLOGY!!!!!! Yay!! I am so excited and I can hardly wait to get started with the editors. I am truly thankful for both of the editors and their decision to choose my essay. I look forward to this journey I am continuing and I can't wait to see where it takes me next...

What a fabulous book tour!

2010-05-04T08:29:00.000-07:00

McNally Robinson is an amazing bookstore! What a fortunate person I have been to be able to take part in readings and book signings with one of Canada's top booksellers!! On location in the Winnipeg location, I was very proud to read from my books, talk with the many people who stopped to listen and sign copies of my books!

Over the past two weeks, I was fortunate to be able to speak with so many families, educators, and people in the community about what the importance of family, children, belonging, fitting in, adoption, foster care and building a child's self esteem and self confidence levels from within.

It was so beneficial! Not only was it a benefit for myself and being able to speak with so many people - it was also a huge benefit for the people I spoke with to see how useful and necessary the Believe In Me program with the literature it is providing for the people in every family, every community is. There were many comments about how important the messages I am providing for the children is in today's schools, today's families.

Who will you nominate??

2010-04-30T18:35:00.000-07:00

Adoptive Families Magazine is looking for nominations for your favorite adoption books. There are several categories:

1. Adoption memoirs

2. Adoption-friendly parenting books

3. Children's picture books about adoption

4. Children's books that celebrate diversity

5. Young-adult novels with an adoption storyline

6. Novels with an adoption storyline

Click HERE to nominate!

Success on tour so far...

2010-04-30T06:43:00.000-07:00

In the photo: Cindy Xavier, Executive Director of the Adoption Support Centre of Saskatchewan, Ola Zuri, Leona Wasserman, Board of Directors for the Adoption Support Centre of Saskatchewan.

Having been invited to many events across the country has been very uplifting and extremely important at this time. With so many stories in the news about children needing families and families needing children - the opportunity to bring the Believe In Me program to so many people, in all sorts of communities, has been fantastic!!

Saskatoon was great and there were a lot of families, educators, and support workers who came out to hear what I had to offer and were very keen on obtaining the literature to start making a difference in their families, schools and workplaces.

The books are on sale at the McNally Robinson's Saskatoon location.

In case you don't know - the overall purpose of the Believe In Me program is to provide positive literature to encourage and empower all children to believe in who is inside of themselves. Believe In Me will give parents the support they need to raise confidence levels in their children; will provide resources for the educators, support workers, and others in the community while helping children develop as individuals; and will ensure children, in every part of every country, are building a positive self esteem from within.

Books are being displayed and sold at the Saskatoon location of Indigo books

Off to Oakville for another wonderful presentation and reception by many children, parents, educators, and support workers. The media coverage in each city has been fantastic and being able to open up and discuss the areas of concern with everyone and ensuring they all were learning about what the program is doing, where it is going and the benefits to all, has been so rewarding for me and ultimately, for the children!

In the photo: Pat Convery, Executive Director of the Adoption Coucil of Ontario,Ola Zuri, Susan Crawford of the Halton Multicultural Council.

Why Can’t You Look Like Me and Where Do I Belong, are the first two, of six, titles in the program. These books open children up to having to deal with their feelings when they are unsure of how to feel. They offer a distinctly broader view of dealing with situations any child may experience, on the level of the child, and then emphasizes the role to actively teach, and encourage, the child to believe in what is inside of himself/herself and not on what others may say or want for him/her.

In this photo: Ola Zuri, Angela Kreuger Freelance Writer for Suite101.com. I finally met the woman who wrote the beautiful words in my reviews of Why Can't You Look Like Me and Where Do I Belong.

Children, parents, educators, and support workers have all been coming to me and letting me know how important it is that I continue with this program. The need is there - the families are there - and most importantly - the children are there! Who could ask for anything more?

Now that’s what I am after!

Believe In Me cross country tour begins...

2010-04-23T06:41:00.000-07:00

A lot of things are happening for me right now...

I have started on a tour promoting the Believe In Me program to children and families across the country - the main purpose of the program you may wonder... well, it is to ensure, through literature, all children start to believe from within themselves to create a positive self image!

The Believe In Me program, will give parents the support they need to raise confidence levels in their children; will provide resources for the educators, support workers, and others in the community while helping children develop as individuals; and will ensure children, in every part of every country, are building a positive self esteem from within.

Why Can’t You Look Like Me and Where Do I Belong, are the first two titles in the program. These books open all children up to having to deal with their feelings when they are unsure of how to feel. They offer a distinctly broader view of dealing with situations any child may experience, on the level of the child, and then emphasizes the role to actively teach, and encourage, the child to believe in what is inside of himself/herself and not on what others may say or want for him/her.

I have started in Saskatchewan and will be heading off to more places next week, including Ontario and Manitoba.

McNally Robinson, one of Canada's leading independent booksellers, has invited me to their two locations in Canada. You can find out all about them online here: http://www.mcnallyrobinson.com/home

The first place I have stopped is in Saskatoon. I have been invited by the Adoption Support Centre of Saskatchewan, to participate at the Saskatoon Family Expo Event happening this weekend. The ACSC will have a booth set up around the exhibition and I will be available on Friday, Apr 23, 2010, from 5:00-9:00, to speak with all children, families and anyone interested in learning about what I have to offer. Here is a link to the event: http://www.saskatoonfamilyexpo.com/

The event for McNally Robinson will take place on April 24, 2010. My signing starts at 1:00pm. Here is the link for this event: http://www.mcnallyrobinson.com/saskatoon_events

The Adoption Council of Ontario and the Halton Multicultural Council have invited me to do a presentation introducing myself, my literature and my program to all parents, educators, and support workers. I will be in Oakville on April 28, 2010, starting at 6:00. Here is the link for this event: http://www.adoption.on.ca/page.asp?IdPage=8068&WebAddress=adoption

Go to the page and half way down you will see An Evening With Ola Zuri - click on the flyer to view.

The second location of McNally Robinson is located in Winnipeg. I will be at the Grant Park location on May 1, 2010, starting at 11:00am. Here is the link for this event: http://www.mcnallyrobinson.com/event-9484/Ola-Zuri----Reading-&-Signing

If you happen to be in any of these places, I would love to see you, so come on out and say hi!!!

Kelowna Children's Festival

2010-04-11T22:44:00.000-07:00

What a fabulous turnout to the Children's Festival this past weekend!

There were so many interesting things to see and do including: bike races, face painting, a variety of foods to taste, dancing, music, games and challenges, and of course, books!

The day was great and I am very glad to have been a part of it. The children's eyes lit up when listening to the stories in the library and their curiosity peaked every few minutes when there was something new to see or hear. I look forward to taking part again next year! Hope to see more people come out and enjoy the diversity we have in this country!!

Come Celebrate at the Children's Festival

2010-04-08T19:36:00.000-07:00

Excitement builds around town as the kids prepare for the upcoming If The World Were A Village Children's Festival on April 18.

I have been invited to participate as one of the presenters to the children and I am pretty excited myself! Hope to see many children and families come out and take part!!

Adoption - Journey to Motherhood Broadcast

2010-04-05T06:31:00.000-07:00

The journey of adoption can be a difficult process not only for the children who have been adopted, but also for the parents and family members involved as well. I decided to empower the children with the literature I am writing - to ensure they all grow up with a better sense of self than what I experienced - the idea of self healing wasn't introduced to me until I was an adult and although it has been an amazing experience for me to discover who I am, I wish I had been able to grow up with the same knowledge and realization of being happy within myself rather than have to find out it was always okay to be me from the start. For me to be able to talk freely and let others know how I felt growing up is very rewarding - it can be hurtful to others to learn how I felt yet for me, for my healing and my growth as an individual, as a mother raising my children, I know it is crucial for me to be able to express everything I felt so I am able to finally let go of all the hurt, loneliness, abandonment, isolation, abuse, sadness and finally, of all the pain I had in my childhood.

I was asked to participate in an online radio interview with Mary Beth Wells who educates and informs others in the adoption journey process on her online radio show, Adoption - Journey to Motherhood. Mary Beth is an adoptive parent who has designed dolls to introduce children to the idea of adoption by giving them the chance to adopt a baby doll of their own. Learn a little bit more about Mary Beth by taking a look at her informtion below.

The show is based out of the United States and talks with a variety of guests covering all issues pertaining to adoption, adoptive parents, birth parents, adoptees, foster care, and maybe for a lot of people, infertility. The show deals with helping others who are starting out as parents, thinking about becoming parents, people who relinquished a child and all people interested in wanting information about adoption. I was very fortunate to be able to take part in this broadcast and expressed a lot of what I felt like growing up, some of the things I know I experienced in my childhood and never knew how to deal with. The opportunity for me to speak freely and inform others of what not to do when raising a child of a different race was great. I hope parents who listen to the show will understand and take charge of ensuring their children do not grow up with the same sadness I felt I had to be in for my childhood, my youth, and part of my adulthood.

I would like to say to all parents to take the time to listen to what your children come home with, ask questions of them, and most of all, support them, through all of their issues, big or small! Self image - Self confidence - Self esteem - all learned from the role model at home even before they reach the playground at school - so... Love them so they learn to love themselves - teach them so they learn to teach themselves - heal them so they learn to heal themselves!!

You can listen to the podcast athttp://toginet.com/shows/adoptionjourneytomotherhood

Click on 04-05-10 show.

Adoption Journey to Motherhood

Mary Beth Wells

I'm a birth mom that relinquished a child for adoption and ended up coming full circle by adopting two beautiful little girls from Guatemala. My journey led me to start a doll company about adopting baby dolls from around the world so that children could choose their own doll and learn about that dolls heritage ~ thereby embracing another culture other than "our own". The heart knows no boundaries! Check out my site at http://www.preciousbabydolls.com

On my show, we will be talking to all moms and those wanting to become moms. We'll be talking about adoption, infertility, and just motherhood in general. We want to hear all voices sharing their stories that matter to them.

Adoptee author helping children fit in with her books/ Foster Care and Special Needs Adoption

April 5th - My guests will be Ola Zuri who is an adoptee and will be talking about her book, 'Why can't you look like me?" and helping children develop a postive self esteem. Also, I will have Carla Jackson who has adopted a special needs child that is now thriving!

Weekly on Monday's at 9:00 am to 10:00 am EST

Listen in http://toginet.com/shows/adoptionjourneytomotherhood

My books and I are in the news again!

2010-03-18T21:51:00.001-07:00

I have had the opportunity to be interviewed by Cara Brady at the Vernon Morning Star in British Columbia and as luck would have it, have also been interviewed by Nicole Baute at the Toronto Star in Ontario. How fabulous to be asked by two different reporters to be interviewed!! Check out their links below to see what they both had to say:

http://www.bclocalnews.com/okanagan_similkameen/vernonmorningstar/lifestyles/86685567.html

http://www.parentcentral.ca/parent/news%20%20features/article/777428--transracial-adoption-has-its-challenges

Books are not only for those touched by Adoption!

2010-03-06T19:30:00.001-08:00

I have always believed that the books can be for any child. When the books were first going into the bookstores, some of the staff believed the books were really geared to one area. I went into the stores and noticed the books only in the parenting section of the store and discussed the idea of placing the books in the children's area of the store so they would be in view of any children who would be looking in the books. Knowing the books are meant for all children has been the most important thing for me and the stores noticed the change in sales once the books were being viewed by the children.

This series has been developed with the intent on guiding children throughout their childhood, with topics that will be developmental for their age. Their issues will be talked about and the experiences will be externalized, rather than internalized. Children will therefore start learning to believe in themselves and their feelings at a younger age than those before them, and those same children will learn to feel safe, within their families, and most importantly, ultimately, within themselves.

There have been many comments made by parents, educators, support workers, families and children about these first two books and many are saying they are not only for those people touched by adoption but they are really for ALL children!

What a great feeling this brings to me! Funny... I've known that all along!!

Some things people have said about my books are below:

“Ola Zuri’s debut book, Why Can't You Look Like Me, is fantastic! Zuri's writing is free and lyrical, with sincerity gained by first hand experience. This book is a gem, and although the dominant theme is trans-racial adoption, I highly recommend it for ALL families and classrooms."

"In her second book, Where Do I Belong, Zuri shows why her books belong everywhere there are children! This book artfully teaches children (and adults!) that true freedom is born of inner strength, and we all make decisions every day that either strengthen or weaken our inner selves.”

Sally Bacchetta, Freelance Writer, Author, and Adoptive Parent, New York

"Thank you so much Ola! We sincerely appreciated your visit and thank you for inspiring all of us, the children and staff, with your passion for writing. Once again, your time was truly appreciated!"

Lisa McCall, Vice Principal, Osoyoos Elementary School, British Columbia

“Everyone loved the questions in the back saying they were for both adopted and non adopted children, and loved the illustrations. Bryce my 3 year old likes to point out different people or items as we go thru the books ourselves! Thanks so much, I am so happy we found you! There are so many of the trans-racial children needing this support!”

Shannon Adkins, Adoptive Parent, Central Adoption Support Group, Cincinnati, Ohio

"I’m really looking forward to receiving your book!!! There is little literature here when it comes to topics such as adoption, racism, self confidence, fitting in the family… so your beautiful fresh breath is more than welcome… It’s really an honour getting to know you! Thank you - you make my day! Lots and lots of success and a warm sincere smile from Belgium..
Ingrid Slabinnck, Librarian, Adoptive Parent, Foster Care Alumni, Belgium

“Finally a children’s book for transracial adoptees written by a transracial adoptee. There is no one better qualified to understand the many layers of identity and race than someone who lives it everyday of her life. Ola Zuri has taken her own life experiences and transformed them into stories for young children with the hope that transracial families will use the books in the series to help start discussions within their own families. Many young children will identify with the character in her books and come to realize that they are not alone in their feelings of isolation. I hope all transracially adopted children have the opportunity to read these books with their parents.”

Dianna Mortensen, Adoptive Parent, British Columbia

"We like the way all of the kids start being friends and playing together. The little dolls are cute too!"
Jennifer and Jordin, 8 years old, Ontario

"I read the book, french and english versions. I liked it and I feel there is a real need in our community to provide educational resources which showcase the complexities of diversity."
Karen Ragoonaden, PhD, Faculty of Education, UBC Okanagan, British Columbia

"I went to your website/blog. Your book looks very interesting. I will look into ordering a copy for our Lending Library. We lend books to adoptive and foster families"
Laveda M. Doxey, LCSW, Families First Project Coordinator
Georgia Center for Resources & Support: Serving Adoptive & Foster Families, Georgia

"This resource certainly aligns well with our early years English Language Arts, and to some degree with our Social Studies and Physical Education and Health curricula. In all of these, we emphasize that learners have the opportunity to explore the diversity of families and encourage teachers to use resources that reflect diverse family compositions, and this of course would include multicultural or transracial families. The fact that it is a Canadian publication is also important."
Honourable Peter Bjornson, Minister
Education, Citizenship and Youth, Manitoba
" I checked your website and your books look amazing. Thank you for your remarkable contribution of offering such an authentic insight of the ‘inner issues to the outer relationships’. I sincerely wish you God’s best in your continued endeavours. Our community is blessed to have you among us."
Lorraine Richmond, Leadership Coach, Evangel Church, British Columbia

A Time of Celebration

2010-02-28T00:20:00.000-08:00

We have come to the close of another Black History Month of celebrations of a people who helped form the nations we live in. What an honour and a privilege it is for me to be able to hold my head high knowing I am hear on this planet for a reason.

Over the past two weeks, I was very fortunate to have been involved in a variety of celebrations and presentations to represent a small part of the black community in Canada. It was very enriching and rewarding to be able to meet with, and discuss, the many efforts black people have endured over time in this world.

I am excited to see the communities across the country partaking in more activities and celebrating as one with each other. It can only keep getting better from here!!

Black History Month - what is it anyway??

2010-02-20T12:30:00.001-08:00

For many years I didn't know what it meant to be a black person in Canada. Only after many years of research, have I come to know what it is to celebrate Black History.

Black History Month commemorates the many leaders who fought and died for the freedom of Black people. It began in the United Sates as "Negro History Week" in February 1926, under the leadership of African American visionary and scholar Dr. Carter G. Woodson. His goal was to raise awareness and understanding in the school curriculum of African Americans and their contributions around the world. The United States formally began to celebrate African History Month in the 1960's.

It also recognizes the historical role which Canada played in the liberation of a people searching for freedom. When freedom fighter, Harriet Tubman set her people on the Underground Railroad, her cry to them was 'if you want a taste of freedom, keep on going' - the country they ran to was Canada.

During the early 1970s, the week became known as Black History Week. It was expanded into Black History Month in 1976.

In December 1995, the House of Commons officially recognized February as Black History Month, following a motion introduced by the first black Canadian woman elected to Parliament, the Honourable Jean Augustine. The motion was carried unanimously by the House of Commons.

In February 2008, Senator Donald Oliver, the first black man appointed to the Senate, introduced a motion to have the Senate officially recognize February as Black History Month. It received unanimous approval and was adopted on March 4, 2008.

So, after all of that, where do I really stand now with Black History Month??

Well, when I think about black history, I generally think about the way things used to be for black people in the past. The historical events like Rosa Parks - allowing black people the right to sit anywhere on a public bus - like Martin Luther King Jr. and the March on Washington ending with his speech about black people being allowed to be free, to work, live, walk, eat and be a part of the country they live in with racial harmony - like Harriet Tubman and her wonderful efforts with the underground railroad and the journey to free so many slaves to a new and better life in Canada.

I am wondering then, why are there still so many injustices happening to the black people in our society? The first nations people? The asian people? When will it all end? As a young child, I witnessed first hand how society treats people who are different, who don’t quite “fit in.” what do I mean you wonder - being a child of colour was difficult because the other children name called, picked on, and teased me about the colour of my skin, the kinkiness of my hair, and how weird or different I was. What did I know and what kid wants to go through school feeling weird and being called different!? It was tough and I realized, after many years of soul searching and heartaches, the way for me to make a difference in the world was to write the books I am writing. To bring out the messages of believing in yourself first before anything anyone else says or wants for you. Yes, I have an adoption theme in my stories but my key message to all who read the stories is that of encouragement for all children to believe in what is inside of them!!

Having been invited to contribute in the Black History Month Celebrations across Kelowna and as an author who has messages of empowerment and inspiration to bring to all children, I am thrilled to be able to partake in a variety of presentations introducing people in the community, the educators, support workers, families, and, of course, the children, to the series of books that will, in the end, build a positive self esteem and positive self confidence in children. What an opportunity this is for me to be a part of enriching a child's life by bringing the idea of believing in oneself starting at a young age rather than waiting until growing up and trying to figure it all out!

As Kelowna celebrates this month, gathered below you will find some of the fabulous Black Canadian Authors who have come to partake in the celebrations including: Austin Clarke, Giller Award winner for his published work, The Polished Hoe; Mairuth Sarsfield, author of No Crystal Stair, a part of the Canada Reads 2005 list; myself, for my contribution of Why Can't You Look Like Me; Kevan "Scruffmouth" Cameron, poet, performer, and writer of upcoming release New Word Order, Charmaine Lurch, artist and educator who brings form and grace in her artwork, one of her most impressive Coloured, and Gail Nyoka, award winning playwright and children's author of Mella and N'anga: an African Tale.

Another Adoption Book Review!!

2010-02-14T11:02:00.000-08:00

The month is passing by very well so far - reviews being written, interview spots coming up, for both television and radio, and what great luck to have another fabulous review written by Sally Bacchetta, this time for my second book, Where Do I Belong.

Ms. Bacchetta is an award-winning writer and sales training consultant with more than a decade of experience in medical writing, magazine journalism, and corporate communications. She draws on her educational and professional background in psychology and counseling to illuminate the private thoughts of adoptive parents with sensitivity and startling honesty.

Ms. Bacchetta is the Rochester Adoptive Families Examiner and her articles have appeared in national and local publications, including Computer Link, Country Business, FOCUS, Genesee Valley Parent, Home & Yard Handbook, Kids VT, Pharmaceutical Executive, Pharmaceutical Representative, Phenomena, and Selling Power online.

As an adoptive parent, Ms. Bacchetta also blogs about adoption and parenting at www.theadoptiveparent.blogspot.com and she networks extensively with other adoptive families. She is currently working on a follow-up book about adoption to her first published title, What I Want My Adopted Child to Know: An Adoptive Parent's Perspective.

Click on any of the following links to read one of the reviews she has written for my first book, Why Can't You Look Like Me:

http://theadoptiveparent.blogspot.com/

http://www.examiner.com/x-20410-Rochester-Adoptive-Families-Examiner~y2010m2d4-Adoption-Book-Review-Why-Cant-You-Look-Like-Me#

http://www.amazon.com/Cant-Look-Like-English-French/product-reviews/0981207316/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

Now click on any of the following links to read the review she has written for my second book, Where Do I Belong:

http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-20410-Rochester-Adoptive-Families-Examiner~y2010m2d18-Black-History-Month--adoption-book-review

http://www.amazon.com/Where-Do-Belong-English-French/product-reviews/0981207324/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

http://adoptionvoices.com/profiles/blogs/adoption-book-review-where-do?xg_source=activity

Meet Local Author - Ola Zuri

2010-02-13T20:58:00.001-08:00

True Colours Mentoring

2010-02-12T00:19:00.000-08:00

Welcome to an exciting month filled with activities celebrating a people of colour! It is Black History Month this month and there is plenty to see and do!

The Kelowna Immigrant Society, a non-profit agency, is proud to join with communities across Canada in celebration of Kelowna's second annual Black History Month in a week of celebration commencing February 15-26, 2010.

For two weeks, Kelowna will extend its hospitality to meet, greet and hear Black novelists, poets, biographer, historian, playwright, storyteller, children's authors and artist as they span across the city visiting the Kelowna Library, schools, gallery and other institutions as these modern day wordsmiths weaved their stories using the lushness of language, the gift of creativity that reminds us that the written word is indeed important for the retention of memory.

I have been invited to contribute in the Black History Month Celebrations across Kelowna and as an author who has messages of empowerment and inspiration to bring to all children, I am very pleased to be introducing the people in our community, the educators, families, and, of course, the children to this book, and the series to come, with topics relating to transracial adoption, adoption, racism, fitting in, foster care, questions about family, racial identity, and most of all, building a positive self esteem and positive self confidence in children.

Having said that, I welcome everyone to come out for another great day of friends, food, games, mentors, crafts, and tons of fun!! Mark your calendars for this coming Sunday, February 14, 2010, from 1 pm - 4 pm at the Boys and Girls Club in Rutland, on Hartman Road. The schedule has been attached for you to print off and keep on your fridge for the dates of all the sessions planed for this year. Our February session is going to be a Black History Month Celebration.

I look forward to this Sunday to join the kids in the fun and I can't wait to see you all! If you know of any friends, or family members, that want to come out and join our group, please feel free to invite them to tag along with you on Sunday! The more, the better!

Any questions, concerns, ideas, or you need to talk, please do! See you soon!

Another Month, Another Book Review!

2010-02-04T13:25:00.000-08:00

This is already turning into quite the new year!

Angela Krueger, of Suite101.com, out of Canada, contacted me last November in the hopes of writing a review, or two, for my books. The New Year came and those have been written. I have posted the links to my first two book reviews for the year below:

Why Can't You Look Like Me

http://adoption.suite101.com/article.cfm/canadian_transracial_adoption_blogs

Where Do I Belong

http://international-adoption.suite101.com/article.cfm/review_where_do_i_belong_by_ola_zuri

So, wasn't I extremely surprised when, only a few short weeks later, I was approached a second time by a young lady, Sally Bacchetta, out of the United States, asking me if I would be willing to have her review my books for me as well. Wow! Again, how crazy would I be to say no to this fabulous person who was so willing to help me help the children by spreading the word and promoting the books through reviews of my literature?! Honestly! What would I be thinking if I said no!? As you can see, I did not decline and have now had the first review for my first book, Why Can't You Look Like Me, written by Ms. Bacchetta.

Sally Bacchetta is an award-winning writer and sales training consultant with more than a decade of experience in medical writing, magazine journalism, and corporate communications. She draws on her educational and professional background in psychology and counseling to illuminate the private thoughts of adoptive parents with sensitivity and startling honesty.

Click on any of the following links to read one of the reviews she has written:

http://theadoptiveparent.blogspot.com/

http://www.examiner.com/x-20410-Rochester-Adoptive-Families-Examiner~y2010m2d4-Adoption-Book-Review-Why-Cant-You-Look-Like-Me#

http://www.amazon.com/Cant-Look-Like-English-French/product-reviews/0981207316/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

Adoption of Haitian Orphans

2010-01-27T23:33:00.000-08:00

With the impact of the Haitian earthquakes, children are being adopted right, left, and centre all over the world, bringing many new children into a whole new world, a world we are accustomed to. These children are going to be losing so much... yet, at the same time, gaining so much. This can be very scary for these young children coming from very little, most likely with next to nothing, into a place with plenty. It is understandable why people are wanting to get these children into families quickly and why they would want the children of Haiti to be "fast-tracked" into their new families.

However, the children are going to take some time to adjust as this is a whole new experience for them. A world that is surrounded by new sights, new sounds, new languages, cold weather their young bodies are not used to, foods, textures, and scents their little noses have never smelled before. I hope the parents who are bringing these children into their homes realize the severity of this fracture from the world these children knew to the new one now in their horizon. For those who think the transition time will be instant - think again! Imagine yourself losing all you once knew in the blink of an eye and then all of a sudden being flown across the world to a new place where nobody looks like you and you don't know anyone. Remember these are children who have lost everything and it will take some time to adjust - to attach to those who have brought them in and to understand what has happened to their life. Hopefully all parents will see this and will do their best to find support through literature, support groups, other adoptive parents, social workers, friends, and family. Hopefully, parents will not give up on the children brought out of devastation and into this new world and will continue to support and enrich their minds, body and spirit!!

I have had the chance to read some insight from a new adoptive father of a boy from the Philippines and it has shaken me a little to say the least. This father wrote about how his son had been misbehaving and when he acts up, the father thinks to himself "Why is he doing this... doesn't he know he owes us?" Now a statement like that may not hit home to some people but when an adoptee reads something like that, it can be devastating. OWE HIM - really?? When did the little boy ask his parents to come out and adopt him - to take him from his country of origin, with all of the people who look like him, who he can relate to in a distinct way. When was it this young boy asked these people to do that?? A child of adoption should not be considered to owe anyone anything. Adoption is supposed to be about wanting a child, to love and care for unconditionally. Owing should never come into the picture. I feel for the young boy as his father goes through his life with him... I hope the parents will be awesome enough to pick up the literary support tools I am providing so their young son will grow into a strong, confident and resilient man!

Here is a link to what Diana, an adoptive mother of three transracial children, had to say about the adoptions out of Haiti. She also happens to be a wealth of knowledge with regards to the world of adoption as she is the Adoption Support Coordinator in various regions of BC.

http://www.cbc.ca/daybreaksouth/

2010-01-21T20:23:00.000-08:00

As luck would have it, I have been reviewed by Angela Krueger of suite101.com for a second time! For those of you who don't know, Suite101.com's door is open to the curious novice looking for a "101" intro to any of their 400 topics, but it's also a meeting place for over 24 million readers each month who ask 101 burning questions. The site has a number of featured writers that tackle the variety of topics they offer, including adoption. Angela Krueger is the Adoptions Feature Writer for suite101.com and, as mentioned earlier in the month, she contacted me a couple of months ago with interest in reviewing my book series.

Ms. Krueger was kind enough to review Why Can’t You Look Like Me?, and has now taken the time to write another review for my second book, Where Do I Belong.

This article is a little longer than the first review as Ms. Krueger went into more detail about the fabulous illustrations created by Illustrator, Jenn Simpson. Like myself, Jenn has had no literary experience and these are the first books she has created. Her talents, however, have been with her for many years and after finally listening to me, and many others, say she was extremely gifted in what she has to offer, she took on the role of illustrator for this series of books. Yay to you Jenn for seeing the light!!

Click on the link below to read the review:

http://international-adoption.suite101.com/article.cfm/review_where_do_i_belong_by_ola_zuri

Upcoming Event - January 23, 2010

2010-01-15T19:26:00.000-08:00

It's all in how you go forward..

2010-01-08T11:06:00.000-08:00

As most of you are all aware, I am new to the publishing industry. I have recently published the first two titles, Why Can't You Look Like Me and Where Do I Belong, in a series of books that I am writing to help develop a positive self esteem and positive self image in children. The topics included in this series are relating to transracial adoption, racism, adoption, fitting in, foster care, questions about family, racial identity, and most of all, self esteem and self confidence.

I have been doing whatever it takes to get the word out about this book series and the positive messages that are being written for the children and, in doing so, this has taken me to many venues for reviews, and promotional help, wherever I can get it. I have been involved directly with the schools, school boards, libraries, bookstores, adoption support groups and adoption agencies, the children's ministry systems, and a variety of media resources.

Currently, I am living in the wintery weather here in Kelowna, BC. With the upcoming release of my second title, Where Do I Belong, this past December, I sent out a press release to everyone I could think of to aid in the promotion of the book.

One of the newspapers here, The Daily Courier, has an events section (eVent) with a column written by fellow writer, Glenna Turnbull. Ms. Turnbull is a freelance writer who has covered the Okanagan arts and entertainment scene for many years. Her column appears each Wednesday in eVent and I thought, "lots people read this newspaper, here is an excellent opportunity for me to get the exposure that I need for this book release." I sent her the press release and was looking forward to hearing back from her with a positive response. However, what I first heard back from her was that the general attitude towards self published material is very low and is often referred to as "vanity press" because anyone who has a story to tell and the money to do so, can have their books published. In other words, thanks for writing in, good luck, keep trying and see you later. :o(

Now, in most cases, a person would close off the email and say "oh well, move on to the next person," but this was not the case for me! I know why I'm writing these books and it hasn't ever been all about the money for me. If it was, I would have stopped already! I'm in this for the children, first and foremost!! I'm not making any money with this venture. I am, however, getting the books out there now - for the children to see who they are within before growing up and then trying to find out who that person is. So did I write her back?? Yes, I wrote her back and explained to her my reasons for hanging in mid-air, not making a dime and barely being able to pay the bills, but getting my messages of encouragement out there. In the end, after a couple more emails each, I heard back from Ms. Turnbull saying she had re-thought it and would like to include me in her column after all! YES! Now that was what I wanted to hear!

Here is the link below to see what Ms. Turnbull wrote - it isn't long but it was a mention and, sometimes, that's all it takes!!

www.eventpub.com/stories.php?id=234598

I am very thankful to Ms. Turnbull for seeing this is my passion and I am doing this for every young person and not for my own personal gain. That's not always the situation when it comes to why people get into the publishing business.

For me, for now, I'm happy to say that I am in it for all the right reasons... the children!!!!! Thank you again Ms. Turnbull for including me in your words!!

First Book Review for 2010!

2010-01-08T08:41:00.000-08:00

Another great happening to befall me is I have been reviewed by Angela Krueger of suite101.com. Suite101.com's door is open to the curious novice looking for a "101" intro to any of their 400 topics, but it's also a meeting place for over 24 million readers each month who ask 101 burning questions. The site has a number of featured writers that tackle the variety of topics they offer, including adoption. Angela Krueger is the Adoptions Feature Writer for suite101.com and she contacted me a couple of months ago with the interest in reviewing my book series. Who would I be to say no??!! So, of course, I said yes to having a review written, starting with the premier book in the series, Why Can't You Look Like Me, introducing it to the vast amount of readers who view suite101.com's site.

With a degree in Psychology from Wilfrid Laurier University, Angela Krueger focused her studies on Child Development and Social Psychology. Specializing in writing about adoption and parenting she has contributed to Adoptive Families Magazine, The Hospital for Sick Children - IMPrint, Rainbowkids.com, and City Parent Southwestern Ontario. Ms. Krueger also has a passion for the subject as she is an adoptive parent herself, therefore bringing an intimate connection to the material she writes about.

Click on the link below to read the review:

http://adoption.suite101.com/article.cfm/review_why_cant_you_look_like_me_by_ola_zuri

Happy 2010 To Everyone!!!!

2010-01-07T06:18:00.000-08:00

This year has started off with a bang! The kids are all happy with school being back in and with the activities they have begun; the house is beginning to look somewhat like it is in order; I finally have a little money to pay off some of my bills; and I have two books in print that are up and available for all to read!!

So, over the holidays, I received a tote bag and a Sigg water bottle with the character images from my books and they are so awesome! What a great way for me to be able to promote the books and, at the same time, show off the talent Jenn has in beautiful artwork!

Here are a few more examples of what you can get at the web store!

Check out my web store so you can pick out something for yourself, and/or for a child you know and love!! www.cafepress.ca/blackoasis

Now what more could I possibly ask for??!!

Well that's definitely an easy question to answer! I want to be able to start my cross country tour to promote the positive messages that this book series has to offer the children. Not only the children touched by adoption or foster care, but also for the ones that are feeling confused, and shy, and unsure of themselves. For all of the children that are wanting to express what they are feeling inside but don't know how to or don't have the confidence to use the tools within themselves to talk about what they are feeling. I am so willing to step up to the bat and be the person that introduces the children to a fresh start, to a journey of healing themselves before they turn into those same lost souls that we see today as adults trying to figure out what was wrong with their childhood, what they couldn't figure out, desperately trying to heal themselves in their adulthood. The younger a person is in learning how to heal, the better!!

What a fabulous day for a book release!!!

2009-12-24T06:47:00.000-08:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you to the many people who stopped to meet me and discuss my books and their positive messages for the children!

The book signing on December 18 was a huge success and I was so thrilled to see so many new faces stop and talk with me and some even bought the books for children they knew and loved!

Meet Local Author - Ola Zuri

2009-12-16T00:15:00.001-08:00

UPCOMING EVENT

Book Release - Mosaic Books

"Where Do I Belong"

Where: 411 Bernard Avenue

Downtown Kelowna

When: December 18, 2009

Time: 10:00 - 4:00

Book Reviewed by an adoptive mother...

2009-12-10T09:11:00.001-08:00

Book Review: Why Can't You Look Like Me

Trans racial parenting is a unique experience, but being the child in a trans racial adoptive relationship is even more complicated. Ola Zuri was one of the first trans racial adoptees in Canada when she, an African-Canadian child, was adopted at the age of 2 with her twin sister to white parents. Her own experience, feelings of isolation and pain shaped her view of adoption, and trans racial adoption in particular.

My first interactions with Ola were somewhat less than stellar. We had an email spat over terminology, both of us passionate people with a penchant for using words to advance ourarguments. Later that same year we met in person, and the year after that she forgave me, kind of. Now, I dare say, she might even consider me a friend. It's a good thing because wecamp together every summer.

If you come to camp, you will find Ola providing support to both the kids and the parents as she invests herself in ensuring that kids in multiracial adoptive families do not have the same experience she did, and when they feel those feelings as so many do, that they have supportive and understanding adults around them. You will also find her running after her girls who just might happen to be the most active and enchanting children I have ever met.

Ola is a woman who invests herself in what she believes in with great passion. She has written a children's book, the first in a series, called "Why Can't You Look Like Me?". A simple story of a young black girl with white parents feeling alone in her family and school. This story isn't about solving the problems that kids in a trans racial adoptive family feel, it's about acknowledging the feelings that some kids have. This book is meant to be a conversation starter with your child, and a jumping off point to approach a discussion of racial isolation.

Go buy it and add it to your child's library. You will not regret it, and maybe Ola will finally forget about our spat. (Right Ola?)

2009-12-10T06:40:00.000-08:00

This website should be bookmarked for parents raising children of colour. A lot of information regarding issues that come up throughout life for children that parents may want to read about - to help with anything that sounds similar to a situation in one's own family...

Take a look, bookmark it and remember... it's all about the children.

http://harlowmonkey.typepad.com

My Healing...

2009-12-06T21:44:00.000-08:00

This journey of discovery that I'm on while writing my books is so emotional. I pray that all of you parents who want your children to be well rounded, positive, strong, capable and free from having to heal as adults, that each and every one of you provides your children with this series of books! I wish I had been as fortunate to have someone as caring as me to look out for my well-being, growth, and development!

2009-12-04T08:13:00.001-08:00

Wondering what will be happening

in the next two weeks for me??

Only the release of the second

book in the series,

"Where Do I Belong!"

Pre-order your copy now!!

2009-11-28T08:40:00.000-08:00

Supports for children are so important. I am a mother myself and everyday I face new challenges with my children. My children are not adopted but they are mixed children and face the same difficulties that most people of colour are still facing today. I cherish the thought that I have been able to open the eyes of those around me - to start the healing process for so many children. Healing as you are growing is so important rather than waiting until you are an adult and then trying to figure it all out. This series is a stepping stone into that healing for the children, and for the families. Knowing that their families were willing to be such a support for their children will mean something to them as they continue to struggle with the issues that surround them throughout their childhood, and then possibly, into their adulthood. Thank goodness for the tools being available to those families now!!

2009-11-16T16:39:00.000-08:00

The Raise A Reader program has come to a close for the fall season - we will be back in the spring with new books and a lot more schools to attend! Thank you to the South Okanagan Raise A Reader program for helping to get my book into the hands of over eight hundred children, parents, and educators!! I look forward to being a part of this program for years to come!

True Colours Mentoring

2009-11-16T16:37:00.001-08:00

Thank you to all the families that continue to be a part of the wonderful program that I run here in the Okanagan - True Colours! Yesterday was another great day at the Boys and Girls Club with children running, talking, meeting new children and mentors, baking, eating, and most of all, having fun together with each other and the mentors!! I look forward to each month when we can do it all over again!

Identity issues are a reality...

2009-11-13T09:28:00.000-08:00

Check out the blog below to see that I am not alone in believing that children need the information that I am providing them in the books that I am writing - there is a need for them to start healing when they are young so that they do not end up becoming adult adoptees that have pent up frustration, and possible anger, towards their families and/or situations - Deborah Douglas responds to the NYT article about Korean adoptee identity

Raise A Reader Rocks!!!

2009-11-13T08:14:00.000-08:00

I am so thrilled to be a part of this program where children are touched by an author coming into their school for a visit, a read of the book, and then to be able to walk out of the presentation with one of the books that the author wrote, to me is so awesome!! What a privilege it is for me to be able to see all of those young faces with smiles wide and minds racing to write their own stories! No wonder I started in this business!!

Adoption Awareness Month & Some Thoughts...

2009-11-08T23:39:00.001-08:00

What a great way to start Adoption Awareness Month!!

My children and I spent the afternoon of November first at the MacMillan Farms Pumpkin Patch in Kelowna, where we explored our way through the corn maze, took a great wagon ride, drank tons of hot chocolate, and had lots and lots of fun!!! There were so many families, and mentors, there for us to mingle with and I was able to promote my book, sell a few copies, discuss the series yet to come, and inform parents about the True Colours Mentoring group that I run for all children touched by adoption or foster care.

In response to some queries by some families at the event, I am going to explain again a little about who I am, the importance of why I am writing this series of books and why I am running the mentoring group.

Having been adopted at the tender age of two, I was young enough not to know, or realize, that I was different than those around me. As I started growing up, I was not as oblivious to the realities of my differences. My parents did not have the resources that are so readily available to the parents of today and so I had to either learn to live with being different, or ignore it. Unfortunately, I learned from my surroundings that the best solution was to ignore it. I was not fortunate enough to have a group of children that looked like me, that were adopted like me, nor did I have any reading material to help me deal with my differences. That is where the differences lie in what is available today.

What I have to offer the children growing up today is the series of books that I am writing, with topics relating to transracial adoption, racism, fitting in, questions about family, identity, and, most of all, about building self esteem and self confidence within. With the mentoring group, I also offer the opportunity to come together, as a group of families, on a monthly basis, and embrace our differences together in a fun, warm, friendly, supportive and compassionate setting.

So on that Sunday, I had an interesting response to my first book, Why Can’t You Look Like Me, that is now available as a bilingual book, in french and english. One of the parents wondered why I wrote it and when I explained about the positive messages built into the story to increase a child’s self esteem when feeling like she doesn’t fit in, the response I received was, “Well, my daughter is too young to notice anything yet, so I don’t even have to think about it.” I was a little taken aback at the statement and really had to choose my words carefully when I responded to her. I really wanted to yell at her and explain that she has to start now, when her child is young, to prepare her for the realities of how the harsh world will treat her daughter when she is older. Of course, I am not telling parents to go out and traumatize their children with the cruelties of this world but to ensure that the children will understand that there are some people that will expect them to be a certain way because of the colour of their skin. Okay, and yes it is true that the child is only six years old but it is not true that parents shouldn’t be thinking about their child going through those feelings of being different, even at that young age.

Issues come up all the time for children - whether or not they choose to share these issues with their parents is one the children will decide to do or not. There are those who have parents that don’t want to see, or perhaps don’t want to admit what may be happening, and those are the children that will probably choose to not share. A child can sense when parents don’t think something is an important issue to discuss and so the child will tend not discuss it and may push it away or hide it within. That is not the kind of attitude that will help this little girl as she is growing up.

Children are more than likely not going to want to discuss areas of discomfort with parents who show the type of concern described in the example above. When I say this, I mean that a child who has open, honest parents that are willing to open their eyes, and trust me, open their hearts to their child who was transracially adopted into this white sterile world, those will be the parents that the child will generally feel free to open up to about all topics that he/she is going to go through. Don’t get me wrong though, because there are still sometimes when a child will decide that the situation is one that can be brushed off and will choose not to share. A vigilant parent who wants to ensure an honest and open relationship with the child, will continue to ask questions of the child and will always be open for discussion when, and if, asked.

I find it so interesting when I start talking with some parents about issues that their children will probably experience, that for some reason, it’s as if I am commenting about them as a parent. I don’t go around bashing parents, saying they are not doing enough for their child - my whole issue is that there has to be more done for the child - please don't think that because there is some connection with a bunch of families that met when having traveled to pick up their child, that somehow parents are done. There is more to this world than that one connection that some parents think is going to be the saviour for their child. Support comes in many forms - counseling, mentoring, books, friends, family, play groups, workshops and many more.

There is a reality that I notice some parents not willing to admit to. That reality is that yes, your child was adopted and is loved by all of his/her family very much, and yes, your child is still young and why introduce any negative attitudes into his/her world of happiness and goodness. What parents need to see is that it’s also true that by sheltering and covering for any of the bad things/issues that you do not want to deal with, can be the most traumatic experience for your child. When a child has been sheltered and/or cushioned for any blow that might happen, that child is more than likely to not bring home any thoughts or concerns about issues that do end up happening. So parents, you need to be willing to trust yourself - trust that the more help and support that you have to offer is going to benefit your child, in more situations than you would have thought of. Trust that I am not an enemy to you, nor of you. I am here to support you and be there for you when you call!

Reviewed by an adoptive mother...

2009-11-06T19:02:00.001-08:00

On November 4, I had my book, Why Can't You Look Like Me, reviewed by a woman with whom I did not at first get along. After many trial and error emails, we have now become friends!! I have posted the original review above on December tenth.

A few years ago, I tried to start up a support group for children adopted transracially - I introduced myself to families all over and tried to get them to bring their children out to meet me. What I offered to parents, and families, was a place for their kids to come, to meet other kids that looked like them; to meet other families that were the same as theirs; to come together and play, have fun, and maybe, even talk about any issues that might be happening in their lives as adoptees.

This did not go over well at all with the families that I contacted. There was a lot of tension and most people were wary of letting their children become involved with me. This woman, Jen, and I had a head to head because of our own strong, personal convictions when it came to the children. In the end, she and the parents won and I gave up. The group did not go forward.

Flash forward to three and a half years later ---- and I am now running the group I wanted to start, True Colours Mentoring. Through the mother of three transracial adoptees, came forth the connection to the families that I needed. Here was a woman that the people would listen to - someone that they already knew and trusted. I started to attend various activities that the families went to so that the parents could meet me and see who I was.

If it weren't for my strong belief in knowing that I would be a support for these families, I may not have continued with the venture of becoming involved with True Colours. Now that we are into our third year, I am pretty happy with the programs and I wouldn't change it for the world now!! The bonds that I have established with the parents and their children has been excellent!

2009-11-06T18:51:00.000-08:00

I have been having quite a week - started off great with the awesome time my kids and I spent at the first Adoption Awareness Month activity that I will talk about in one of my next posts - next had a couple of sick kids that kept me busy running after them and their needs... what else is new! I then had a really good day with the Raise A Reader program in Penticton. The kids were very interested in the book and kept asking questions and wanting to be involved in the presentation. Tomorrow I am involved in the Penticton Artists and Authors Faire - should be a good day with a lot of people coming to view art, books, and meet the artists and authors. I am looking forward to a great time introducing my book, and the series to come, to everyone that attends!

2009-10-28T16:25:00.000-07:00

I attended my first Raise A Reader today & it was fabulous!!! Thanks to this amazing program offered in the South Okanagan, the 392 students, parents, teachers, and librarians, were able to receive a copy of Why Can't You Look Like Me for themselves!! I can't wait to get out there and do it again next week! I'm excited to get the second book out & into their hands as well!

2009-10-22T11:21:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to say that the re-print of book one, in both English and French, is going to be completed this weekend and will be available to all next week!!

2009-10-13T21:26:00.000-07:00

Took some time to travel with the kids to visit the family this past weekend - it was great! I also had the opportunity to see a few people about the book and may be picked up at another couple of libraries in Alberta!

I am looking forward to this next couple of days - layout for the revised book is almost complete - I will look it over - make some possible changes - go to press and then it will be available for all!

2009-10-06T10:04:00.001-07:00

I am happy to say that book two is in the full production stage and will be released soon. Come out and pre-order a copy for your collection by clicking on the link at the right side of this page.

2009-10-06T09:35:00.000-07:00

Hello again!

Life is fast paced at this time of year with children, schools, work, volunteer work, extra-curricular activities for all, and trying to find time to relax doesn't come as easily as expected! I am in that same stream with all the others trying to find the time to relax.

Come check out my new online store where you can purchase merchandise with characters from the books! Go to http://www.cafepress.ca/blackoasis and take a look.

2009-09-21T10:12:00.000-07:00

What a great weekend I have had! I mentioned previously that I run a program here called True Colours Mentoring. Well, we started our third year off yesterday with a fabulous turnout of 22 children and ten mentors for our International Literacy Month Celebration! What an awesome time we all had too!! There were games in the gym, crafts in the arts room, music, pool, books galore, and foozball in the hangout room, and the kids (and all of us mentors too!) all enjoyed the delicious apple crisp made by those in the kitchen. Not to leave out that of course there were snacks and more snacks enjoyed at the break. I am looking forward to our next session in October where we can do it all over again with our Hispanic History Month Celebration! Yay to everyone that came and yay to all of those that will come next time!!! Can't wait to see you all again:o)

2009-09-09T08:25:00.000-07:00

I have been invited by the Raise A Reader program in the South Okanagan to visit some of the local schools with my book. I will do a short reading and present to the children my story and the positive messages, after which each child will be awarded with a copy of the book for their reading pleasure and enjoyment. Now that is definitely something to celebrate!

2009-08-27T15:53:00.000-07:00

Hello again to all!

I have had an order from the states looking for 25 copies of the book! That is really exciting to me and I look forward to getting more orders like that more often! All of this marketing is finally paying off when orders like that are coming through. And that was only for book one - wait until the next one is available!!

2009-08-17T20:25:00.000-07:00

Wow! What an exciting weekend I had! Saturday, my book signing went well, as a lot of people turned out & I was able to chat about the importance of this series for the children. Even sold a few copies too! Sunday, I met some great families at the Adoptive Families Association of BC Picnic. I was able to, again, talk about the importance of my book series but I was also able to talk about the fabulous relationships the children and mentors build when attending the group that I run, again for the children, the True Colours Mentoring Program. I am looking forward to seeing all of them come out this year to join the mentoring program. Thanks to all for the continued support! See you soon:o)

2009-08-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

UPCOMING EVENT

Book Signing - Chapters

Where: Orchard Park Mall

Kelowna, BC

When: August 15, 2009

Time: 1o:00 - 3:00

2009-08-08T18:21:00.000-07:00

What a fabulous day for a book signing in downtown Kelowna today! The signs of a Mardi Gras celebration were all around - the weather was perfect and the people were everywhere!! Thank you to all those that stopped by to congratulate me, to take a look through the book, and for all those that purchased the book! It was a great day for me and I am happy to have had the chance to speak with so many about this book and the books to come! I look forward to my next signing and can't wait to see all of those that will attend!

2009-07-31T13:35:00.000-07:00

What a great summer we are having here in Alberta! The kids are all visiting friends and family that we haven't been able to see in a long time. I have been able to promote the book and it has now been picked up by the Edmonton Public Library! They placed their order today!!! YAY!!! Cross your fingers that more library systems take this as a sign and follow suit!!

2009-07-13T12:50:00.001-07:00

UPCOMING EVENT

Book Signing - Mosaic Books

Where: 411 Bernard Avenue

Downtown Kelowna

When: August 8, 2009

Time: 12:00 - 3:00

2009-07-12T23:58:00.001-07:00

Things have been very confusing and tough decisions have had to be made - it looks like Tapestry Books is out of the loop and I am on the hunt for an agent. I know this book series will be going somewhere - now I have to get someone else to know it too!! Wish me luck and say some definite prayers for me. Thank you to all that continue to support this adventurous dream of mine to help the children raise their self confidence and self esteem levels by believing in themselves and all that they are within themselves!!!!

2009-06-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

YAY! I have been interviewed for an article in the June issue of Okanagan Life Magazine. To read the story, go to their website at www.okanaganlife.com and look for the feature story.

2009-06-15T09:56:00.000-07:00

Things are going really well right now. I have the opportunity to be published and distributed in the States by Tapestry Books - however, I am nervous about signing over any rights to that right now - and, at the same time, I am excited to think it is going to happen! what to do... and just wait because book two's illustrations are done and I am now looking at publishing by summer!! Yay:o)